Dark energy, snow. Dark energy. Snow. Read on.
As if I am not neurotic enough already, I was watching Discovery tonight, in order to get my educational mojo and guess what?? Our galaxy, NOT earth but our entire GALAXY is going to be destroyed by DARK ENERGY. So, even though they say this is going to be millions of years in the future, that means that when you get re-incarnated for the gazillionth time, and The Dark Energy Force comes, you are going to be dead and gone for good baby. Just the thing I needed to end Monday night. How about you? Feel better NOW about all the God-forsaken snow?
Word and insemination: it just goes together
So, if you are a teen living somewhere in the heart of the Urban Jungle, “WORD“, means, um something like,
1) well said
2) said in a agreement
3) can be used as a greeting, hey whats up
1..and 2…You goin to that rocks tanite….word
But if you are the newly pressed CEO of a company that still writes their own legal docs, well, Word ™ is that God awful software produced by Microsoft that no one else has figured out a better solution to, so you still use it for contracts, proposals, etc. But there is a big problem with Word ™ especially if you are your own self processed lawyer who needs to write all about indemnities, and indemnitors, and indemnitees, because Word ™ doesn’t understand what you mean and keeps trying to replace it with its own special version of what you might actually mean, as can be evidenced by this screen shot, seen here:
I am just hopeful that one day, (at the end of my 14 hour day) I don’t accidentally hit auto correct as in AUTOMATICALLY making the same correction , because isn’t that a different business altogether than web development? Yeah. I thought so too.
Wonderful Wednesday: Things I am thankful for in order of appearance
1) Trader JOES: A little bit of LA has come to NYC. Check out gals there are actually NICE, and smiling and call me ma’am (well, that I don’t like so much) but the price and the LA ‘tude is something the cab drivers can learn from. (Plus I friggin’ HATE how big and nasty Whole Foods has become. They don’t give a crap anymore).
2) $1.99 Glass of wine. OK, buy the whole bottle, drink the whole bottle. Or at least half, especially after a day like today. So, for $1.99 have a glass of very nice VENDAGE Chardonnay with my third favorite thing,
3) Jungle Lime Mexican Grill— unfortunately Park Avenue’s best kept secret (because it will go out of business) fantastic and cheap and healthy Mexican–Bella and I ate A LOT for $16. Like really? You can’t buy groceries for that and make a meal.
4) Live to Dance: OH MY GOD! can you die for these two? D’Angelo and Amanda– you KNOW they are re-incarnated. Otherwise they are as SCARY as they are amazing:
5) Modern Family on ABC– Need I say more?
6) Ghiradelli chocolate chips- 35 Chips, 70 Calories.
7) The internet cause I am blogging.
Um that about wraps it up. Life is good. At least for today.
Can anyone get off Facebook
Really? You HAVE to check FB in the elevator?? Why on gods earth does this bug me so much? But then again, why am I compelled to post a blog on it. Sosdd.
Awash with color.
Now that’s advertising. In a rush, but this wall called me into the store. Clothes…just like the wall.
Connecticut, here I come. Or not.
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A repost of someone else’s thoughts. Lara — still in big dirty apple. And now you see why. August 15 – Moved to our new home in Connecticut . It’s so beautiful here. The ocean & Sound looks so majestic. I can hardly wait to see it snow covered. I’m going to love it here! October 14 – Connecticut is definitely the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the park and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise, I LOVE IT HERE!! November 10 – Deer season will start soon. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous animal. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here. Those red and orange leaves have covered my yard. Looks like a magnificent multi-colored carpet. HOW BEAUTIFUL. Raking and cleaning up the yard will be an opportunity for invigorating exercise in the cool crisp air. November 15 – Ah, more leaves and more exercise. November 18 – Jesus, still more leaves. Guess it’s best to wait until they’ve all fallen before I rake again. November 25 – Finally, all of the trees lost their leaves and with today’s final raking it’s over for this season. Chiropractor suggested I use a lawn maintenance service next year. Only four blisters became infected. Should probably remember to use gloves. November 30 – What the fuck? Where did all of those leaves come from? Had a little wind last night and the lawn is covered again. Oh well, they’ll just have to wait until spring. December 12 – It snowed last night, FINALLY. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. Had a snowball fight (I won) and when the snowplow came by and we had to shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I Love Connecticut ! December 14 – More snow last night, I love it. The snow plow did his trick to the driveway again. I Love it here. December 19 – More snow again last night. Can’t get out of the driveway. Can’t to get to work. I’m exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snowplow. December 22 – More of that white shit fell again last night. As if dealing with the leaves weren’t bad enough, now I’ve got blisters all over my hands from shoveling, must remember to wear gloves. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and waits until I’m finished shoveling the driveway. The asshole. December 25 – Merry Fucking Christmas. More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives the snowplow, I swear I’ll kill the bastard. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the roads to melt the fucking ice. December 27 – More white shit last night. Have been inside for three days except for shoveling out the driveway after that plow goes through every time. Fucking gloves got wet and then froze on my hands. Doctor said it was just a mild case of frost bite, disfiguration is probably only temporary. Can’t go anywhere, car is stuck in a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the shit tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is? December 28 – The fucking weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of that white shit. At this rate it won’t melt ’till summer. The plow got stuck up the road and the bastard came to the door and asked to borrow a shovel. After I told him I’d already broken six of them shoveling all the shit he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one on his fucking head. January 4 – Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back I hit a damned deer that ran in front of my car. Did about $3000 damage. Fucking beast should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November. May 3 – Took the car to the garage in town. The thing is rusting out from all the fucking salt they put all over the roads. May 10 – Moved to Punta Gorda , Florida . I can’t imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that God forsaken state of Connecticut . |
Suny Purchase: Paradise found. Or lost. Let’s see.
So today, I went with Bella (oh my GOD soon to be 18 and a college freshman– are you FRIGGIN’ KIDDING ME??) to Suny Purchase to which I was thrilled that she got accepted because not only is it a great arts school, writing school and only 45 minutes from the city, but AFFORDABLE too.
So, I, like the old farty mom that I am, go up to a kid and say, “where is the Student Union”, and he’s like “um, student union? I don’t think we have one of them.” I clarify, “student center” and he says OH, the STEW. And, I’m like, “yeah, yeah, the STEW” –(I feel really dumb saying that) and he gives us the directions and we get there and it is graffettied and gross and there are about 10 skate boarder guys, 
(yes, each one cuter than the next) and I’m like “Bella is NOT going here”, but of course she LOVES it. Oh and by the way the skate boarder guys are actually SKATE BOARDING in the friggin’ student union. And I REALLY don’t get this. (Nothing like Wesleyan, no NOTHING like it at all, but I understand it really makes no difference because drug usage there is just as bad, only more carefully planned so as not to get caught.) But MEANWHILE, back to Purchase. So due to the high volume of coffee that both B and I consumed, we needed to venture into the eqully gross bathroom, also fully graffettied with wonderful colliegiate sayings like, “Jason loves to eat p*&sy”, and great thoughts like that.
The rest of the tour was somewhat less eventful, but on the way home it’s like this (as in discussing the gross bathroom walls:
BELLA: The walls reminded me of the boys I know who like porn.
ME: All guys like porn.
BELLA: No, bad porn.
ME: There is no bad porn.
BELLA: Well, the kind where it pinches girl’s…
ME: STOOPPPPPP. Don’t say no more.
BELLA: Masochists.
ME: No Sadists.
BELLA: Well, they say if a girl says it’s OK, it’s OK. So they are Sadists too.
ME: um. No. The girls are Masochists. The boys are…
BELLA: Sadists.
ME: As long as we get that right.
Purchase. Hmmmm. Really?