Feuding trees
There it is, in black and white (really color) but alas, today, I walked into my building and Christmas had arrived. Or shall I say Hanukah? In a big way. And I mean REALLY big. So, I say to the doorman “what the F*ck is that ginnormous OUTDOOR menorah doing in the lobby?” And he’s like, well apparently there were some complaints that Hanukah was under represented. And I’m like, “it’s supposed to be. Judiasm is about subtlety. Jeez louise”. And at that very moment, one of my brethren stopped by after a glance at the Menorah Tree and gleefully exclaimed, “it’s about time!”.
What is this world coming to?
First ever Lara Dean recipe: Low cal– and so good… go figure.
You can add any veggies you want or take them out, but I find that this is the perfect blend of sweet and sour, protein and fiber! And no, those little brown things are not bugs…they are raisins. I guess CEO’s have more time on their hands than I thought.
Even I hate this reporter
Do you really care about the White House breech that much Ms. Ryan? I mean jeez. Be a good reporter. Perez Hilton already has the gossip theories covered.
Liar Tiger, pants on fire
Does anyone really care that Tiger committed, um, transgressions? Does anyone really care that his $1billion (yes, I said $1 billion) sponsor deals may drop right down into la toilette? The only one I care about is his, well, no one. In my opinion, if this country didn’t make such a big deal about infidelity, 911 would never have happened. Yes, while DC impeached, the Republicans preached, and our country was breached by the terrorists. So, this should be another lesson to us. Or to you. Is life so boring that we need to follow the transgressions of …well, anyone? What say you?
Hanukahmas, Christmaka….things your minister never told you:
Note from Jews around the world the Christmas celebrating folks around the world:
1) Menorahs are not supposed to be decorated with additional adornments, and although Poinsettas look nice, it’s like hanging the Star of David at the top of the tree.
2) Jews do not, I repeat DO NOT feel badly if the Menorah (in your office building, apartment building, department store, etc) is only up during the eight days of Hanukah. In fact, the Menorah is only supposed to be lit for 8 days, and then put away right after the sunset of the eighth day until the next time Hanukah comes around. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you exactly what date that is because the Jewish calendar always gives us little surprises to keep us on our toes.
3) Most Jews have Christmas tree envy. From the time they are tiny children pressing their pug noses against the Christmas display window of the local store, until they are dead and buried. We don’t have them because we believe that Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Christ and while we do believe he lived, we don’t believe he was the savior. Unless we marry someone who is not Jewish. Then we suffer with the Jewish Guilt our mother’s gave us when we do have a tree. But, all Jews want to be invited to someone else’s house to celebrate near someone else’s Christmas tree.
4) Hanukah gifts are only supposed to be given to children. In fact, they are only supposed to get Hanukah gelt, which is money. We now go shopping for the 100 top people on our list because, all Jews need to keep up with the Joneses (or Weinsteins) so to speak.
5) Many Jewish parents allow their children to believe in Santa Claus. This is great while it lasts because we get Christmas and Hanukah. It just doesn’t last long enough,
6) The Hanukah bush does exist. I saw one this year. In an Israeli couple’s house. It was blue and white decorated with Star’s of David and tinsel. It looked weird. I don’t recommend it.
7) Please take your decorations down on January 2. It’s depressing after that and wastes lots of energy.
The cost of doing business
I couldn’t believe that by the time I got out of the house today at 4PM the sun was already starting it’s downward dog. But alas, (I was motivated after reading an article that Brazilians stay thin by eating lots of vegetables) to visit the Union Square farmers market to get those last fresh fall apples (and brownies and whole wheat bread) and one of my favorite things, goat cheese. I happen to favor one especially creamy and delicious brand Lynn Haven Farms. And me (being me) trying to build up my business asks Lynn herself, “so do you have a web-site?” and she’s like “well, I do, but I HATE online orders. In fact, I actually PAY money to sell online. And besides, building by business would mean 100 more goats, and 100 more goats? Well that just means 400 more feet to trim. ”
I’ve never quite thought of growing a business quite in the form the cost of trimming goat hoofs. But now that you mention it? It kinda puts a whole new light on things.
Two year old delivers baby
Now if that ain’t the way to save us all about $2000. Truly amazing. And I can’t even get Bella to make her bed. Go figure. I guess they do it differently down south.
However, it bothers me a tad that the doctors didn’t know it was a boy. Where was his wee-wee during all those sonograms? I guess medicine isn’t always worth the dollars you are spending. Obama care here we come??
.