Men Are Just Happier People –
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives
On December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
So this is part of a wall in the subways of nyc. And I’m thinking is this supposed to be michelle and hilliary???
I never eat at Micky Ds but I am trapped. Starving while driving. They are not kidding about it being a snack. If I could identify it, it appears to be about 2 oz’s of chicken.
So I admit, nothing to do Saturday night, and I ain’t got nobody so what else but to go to a sappy love story with Jennifer Aniston (who’s gritted mouth when she pronounces some words is really annoying– is that a disability?) and Adam Sandler (who I really loved in Spanglish and 100 First Dates– but those were like a LONG time ago). Well, I was not disappointed– the critics were right. In fact I was really surprised that both Jennifer and Adam would sink so low after some really great work. I guess Jennifer is like me, just trying to keep busy after a boring romantic life. And now that I know Adam is desparate for work, perhaps he’ll take a look at my script? (Yes, I know, I am a CEO but I’m really good at multi-tasking).
Anyway, so the movie is out at 10 and I am walking by the other theaters as I exit and it just so happens that the Justin Bieber movie has just started. And I got that urge to just slip in and see two for the price of one. And you know what? That movie blew me away! This kid is scary talented and wow. The story of his rocketship to fame is just unfathomable–YouTube to Madison Square Garden in what, like under 3 years? But aside from that, (and, yes, you can laugh at me), his music was good (no I am not downloading anytime), his dancing rocks, and it was a truly enjoyable movie. And maybe, just maybe, I was another mom in the audience comparing him to my own kid, and wanting for her to find that same passion in life that Justin found–at the young age of two.
See it. Let me know.
As if I am not neurotic enough already, I was watching Discovery tonight, in order to get my educational mojo and guess what?? Our galaxy, NOT earth but our entire GALAXY is going to be destroyed by DARK ENERGY. So, even though they say this is going to be millions of years in the future, that means that when you get re-incarnated for the gazillionth time, and The Dark Energy Force comes, you are going to be dead and gone for good baby. Just the thing I needed to end Monday night. How about you? Feel better NOW about all the God-forsaken snow?
So, if you are a teen living somewhere in the heart of the Urban Jungle, “WORD“, means, um something like,
1) well said
2) said in a agreement
3) can be used as a greeting, hey whats up
1..and 2…You goin to that rocks tanite….word
But if you are the newly pressed CEO of a company that still writes their own legal docs, well, Word ™ is that God awful software produced by Microsoft that no one else has figured out a better solution to, so you still use it for contracts, proposals, etc. But there is a big problem with Word ™ especially if you are your own self processed lawyer who needs to write all about indemnities, and indemnitors, and indemnitees, because Word ™ doesn’t understand what you mean and keeps trying to replace it with its own special version of what you might actually mean, as can be evidenced by this screen shot, seen here:
I am just hopeful that one day, (at the end of my 14 hour day) I don’t accidentally hit auto correct as in AUTOMATICALLY making the same correction , because isn’t that a different business altogether than web development? Yeah. I thought so too.
1) Trader JOES: A little bit of LA has come to NYC. Check out gals there are actually NICE, and smiling and call me ma’am (well, that I don’t like so much) but the price and the LA ‘tude is something the cab drivers can learn from. (Plus I friggin’ HATE how big and nasty Whole Foods has become. They don’t give a crap anymore).
2) $1.99 Glass of wine. OK, buy the whole bottle, drink the whole bottle. Or at least half, especially after a day like today. So, for $1.99 have a glass of very nice VENDAGE Chardonnay with my third favorite thing,
3) Jungle Lime Mexican Grill– unfortunately Park Avenue’s best kept secret (because it will go out of business) fantastic and cheap and healthy Mexican–Bella and I ate A LOT for $16. Like really? You can’t buy groceries for that and make a meal.
4) Live to Dance: OH MY GOD! can you die for these two? D’Angelo and Amanda– you KNOW they are re-incarnated. Otherwise they are as SCARY as they are amazing:
5) Modern Family on ABC– Need I say more?
7) The internet cause I am blogging.
Um that about wraps it up. Life is good. At least for today.