July 3rd

So What the f*cK are They Teaching in School Today???

AT DINNER FRIDAY NIGHT: Bella: So in English class today, Dumb Boy said that he saw something on the news like how this guy had an agreement on how he let his wife have sex with other men. And Ms. English Teacher says: “Sure. Agreements happen like that all the time. It’s just sex”. He’s […]

 
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June 8th

The Cleaning Lady: Part II– But is it Really Clean?

So, my second new cleaning lady actually quit the job before she even started, she said, because she got a full time job. Ok, bravo. Glad we could help you. So, I have continued to resort to my own special rub and scrub talents, which, while it’s not my favorite way to spend a Saturday […]

 
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May 31st

With My Heart In My Mouth

Saturday, the end of a long friggin’ nightmarish week…you can tell from my LAST POST that, well, things could be a little easier on the home front. Teenagers have a way of wishing you could take every lie back you told your mother, (like that one about sleeping over Debbie Zinder’s house when you were […]

 
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May 13th

Cool Mom, Stupid Mom

STOP MAKING ME ACT LIKE MY MOTHER! I yelled those words at Bella when she was 10 and driving me to madness (which she has continued to do ever since). When I was 14, I knew for sure, that, when I grew up, I would not be my mother. Never,ever. “I will NEVER yell at […]

 
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April 27th

Lip Exfoliation

Bella: My lips are a different color, aren’t they? Me: No. Bella: Yes, they are. Look. Me: They aren’t a different color. They’re just chapped. Bella: Yes, that’s what I mean, they are chapped, so they are two different colors. I exfoliated them. Me: You exfoliated them?? Bella: Yes, with a toothbrush. Me: And who […]

 
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April 24th

The Itch: Part III

Today, the most blessed event of my entire week in LA.  Hey mom, guess what I DON’T HAVE anymore??? Let me guess.  For those of you who missed Part I and Part 117 of the Odessey of  Teen Bikini Shaving, go here:  I Got An Itch and The Itch Part 117.  That should bring you up to date.  […]

 
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April 17th

The Itch: Part one hundred and seventeen

So, the itching hasn’t stopped. Last night, Lara with the PhD in “how to drive your daughter”, crazy took a peek and everything looked fine to me, but then what do I know, it’s not like I have any other qualification other than to me they all look the same, and unless there’s a dog […]

 
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