Thank you Mr. Bush. It’s spring and we love you for it.
So, along with the balmy NYC weather (omigod–it’s fifty degrees in March), comes my favorite time of year. Daylight savings. And thanks to you Mr. Bush, heaven holds a place for you to pray because now when I leave the office at 7PM IT’S STILL LIGHT. For those of you who don’t know, Mr. Bush moved DLS up two weeks to save energy. Who said he wasn’t green?
Cheers,
Snuggie Season is over…
…at last. for those of you who live on the east coast, unless you were in bed sick all weekend, it wasn’t too hard to miss the spring weather. And spring? Well, that means allergies and cleaning. Both events I look forward to with, well, all the thrill of a bird in heat. And so, I decided to take that brand new pillow hogging up the closet, that I bought last summer at Macy’s for Bella’s camping excursion (which she never went on) tried to get my twenty bucks back because Macy’s takes everything back even if you wear it, dry cleaned it, and wear it again as long as you give them your birth certificate, drivers license and first born. I am not sure why they have this policy except that it enables them to collect a very LARGE database filled with people’s social and driver’s license numbers, which I am sure they sell to some counterfeit ring, in order to make large profits from identity theft.
There I was feeling very pleased with myself, and $20 richer until I encountered this: 
THE ELEVATOR MOB. And unless you have shopped at Macy’s on 34th street, you can’t possibly know what it’s like to try and get onto an elevator during Spring sales. It can turn deadly, so, I decided to take the escalator, which for those of you who don’t know are the oldest elevators in the country. And, I’m sorry, is it me? Or does the sight of that rickety old elevator fill you with the same dread and fear as walking down the gangplank to a US Airways taking off from La Guardia? 
My heart pounds a little harder as I grab the railing and let not one, not two, but three moving stairs pass before I am absolutely sure that I’ll not mis-step and go tumbling down and get my fingers caught in the bottom one as the emergency crew tries diligently to save them from sure amputation.
Next on the journey, Bed,Bath & Beyond, because, aside from teenage angst, boy trouble and imagined skin conditions, Bella also suffers from allergies to DUST friggin’ MITES. Which basically means that, outside of LA, Manhattan is the worst city in the world for her to live. So I’m on my way to getting DUST MITE MATTRESS covers when I see this:
and I think to myself REALLY? A set of pots worth $600? Really? Good thing I order in all the time. Look at all the money I’m saving. And then I find this:
And I’m like…$9.98 for organic RAISINS??? It must be the evaporated CANE JUICE. Good thing I’m still eating the shitty, inorganic pesticide soaked raisins.
And finally, I see these.
And I’m like, thank GOD Snuggie Season is over. At $14.99 They are SO on sale.
Help. Save me. I am a Bachelorholic.
Please. Someone. Save me from tonight. I can’t stop it. I hate him. Hate Jason. But even more, I hate ABC. For playing me. I am sure, sure that this is NOT human drama, but television drama. In disguise of a reality TV Show. A show that portrays the REAL love triangle of Jason, Melissa and Molly. And I watched the finale. Then the rose ceremony. And then? Yes, I did. I tried to stop but I WATCHED JIMMY KIMMEL (who admitted he was Italian and I thought he was a nice Jewish boy.) And there he was again. Arghhhh. Jason. So please, please do something. Get me to stop. I can not watch, AFTER THE ROSE PART II. I may get sick.
Snow? Not so quiet after friggin’ all
So I was all snuggled down in my comfy cosy comforter and, low and behold, I hear the rumble and the grumble of the snow plows. All NIGHT LONG. Stop damn snow. STOP!!!
There is something about a snowstorm
Ok, so as much as I want the spring to come, there is just something quite magical about the snow in New York. Maybe because it’s the only time the rumbling street noises are muffled outside my window, or maybe it’s that no one will show up at work tomorrow so I’ll sneak a snow day (even though I walk to work), or maybe, just maybe, I’m not quite ready to bare my non-bikini clad body out there to the brazen sun. Yeah, maybe all those things. But for now, I’ll just open up the window and smell the cold and snow and pretend I’m in Jackson Hole with a bear rug, fireplace, glass of wine, and that hot hot guy I met on the slopes. Tomorrow? Time enough for reality.
The Magic Tie
I’m sorry…this was so funny it had me laughing out loud. I know. I am a loser.
Living well on less
So today, I was watching a few morning shows, and since each is as equally boring as the next, I landed on CBS’s Early Show when they announced simple ways to save a LOT of money. I mean, who WOULDN’T stop there? And they go on to announce that, yes just as I thought, I was wasting a LOT of money, gobs and gobs infact, by using too much shampoo, toothpaste, conditioner, sunscreen AND moisturizer. Like couldn’t believe that in fact, on an annual basis, I could save at least $250 dollars if I cut my usage of these products in half. Well, that got my brain to thinking, what ELSE could I cut in half? And how much would THAT all amount to? So, I came up with a list, a list I might use to continue to cut and save:
1) Deoderant: I usually do at least 3 swipes under each pit. Cutting down by 60%, well not only would I save at least, what $10 annually, but I figure I’d save at least $500 because I’d no longer be invited to dine, go to parties, or even go to a movie.
2) Light bulbs: I’d live without lights at least half the time, cutting electric bills in half saving not only at LEAST $1000 per year on electric, but $100’s more on anti-wrinkle cream because I’d NO LONGER SEE the wrinkles!
3) Razers: Who needs to shave anyway? Savings: $50 per year. Plus, with all the extra hair on my body I wouldn’t need to buy so many sweaters in winter. Savings = an additional $300
4) Capuccino: No more $4 half caf/half decafs for me. God that’s almost $1000 right there! Plus the bagel add another $450.
5) Happy Hour: $520 per year. OK, but cutting this out, means increasing visits to the shrink which actually cost a lot more than $20 so, ah, this one? Not so good.
6) Lastly, but not leastly, cut back on toilet paper. And with two girls in the family, this is NOT an easy task. We use at least 2-4 rolls a week –at least $200 per year (hey, it’s Manhattan). But the only thing I can’t figure out is, how many squares is the proper usage? 4? 6? 8? Oh hell, I’ll leave the details to you.
WOW! Who knew if you just put your thinking cap on, how much could YOU save?