The mansions and other Newport doings: Day 4
It’s hardly possible for me to beiieve that I only have ONE day left of vacation. And, although many of you haven’t been on vacation yet this year, let me remind you that this one hasn’t been all wine and roses. Like the mornings for example. Do you know what happens about 5AM everyday when you vaca near bodies of water? Well, I didn’t either and I couldn’t figure out why I kept dreaming of screaming neighbors until today, when finally, I realized the screeching I was dreaming was no nightmare, but the God Damn seagulls screaming about …well whatever they scream about, as they merrily pooped on my balcony. And this time, no hotel concierge could fix that. But seagulls, schmeegulls, I’m still away from the big dirty apple.
So today, after much family pressure, I went to see the manisons (well one mansion)– and basically what they are is homes from the gilded age (early 1900’s) where people felt obliged to spend too much money to show others how rich they were and I have to tell you, the friggin’ Vanderbelts were damn rich. Their home, The Breakers was HUGE. 
No, this was the children’s playhouse. The main house was over 100,000 square feet. But oddly enough, Gertrude Vanderbilt felt terrible about being an heiress (a creature after my own heart, I mean who would want to inherit $200 Mill? Not ME–winning Lotto? A whole other story). But anyway, she felt that no one would want her for herself, they would just want her for her money so she went to France and became a sculptor and shortly thereafter married Harry Payne Whitney who inheritied an oil and tobacco fortune (thank GOD he didn’t just marry her for her money). But in the end, the couple were do-gooders and spent their millions on hospitals, art patronage(Whitney Museum), and a whole bunch of other humanitarian efforts. Whew, got that “MUST SEE” out of the way. 
The rest of the day was spent leisurely…kind of like the Vanderbilts–doing nothing but eating (again), watching the sailboats go by, watching the sunset, and then…eating again. I have to say, today I feel lucky. 
Even luckier than people with millions, even say… Madonna.
Day 3: continued…
Well, Phyliss, not being much help, and not wanting to go the MANSIONS that everyone is raving about because I couldn’t imagine being inside when the whole bleeping summer it’s been raining and today is hot and sunny. And I guess they can be pretty spectacular…if you want to see how all the rich and very very rich and famous lived. But it’s like, if I can’t ever get that in my life, why the HELL do I want to drool over someone else’s lavish lifestyle? (Except of course, now that I am a CEO, I assume that it will soon be in reach). But anyhow, I get into the trusty automobile (which, is nearly antique) and well, the brake light goes on –no NOT the emergency brake, I do know enough about that for godsakes. So, my car helped planned my day (at least it’s not inside)and I went to find a brake place, except it’s way out of town and I’m stuck in bumper to bumper traffic with Newport’s only construction site. And I keep looking at the brake light, hoping it doesn’t mean that my new brakes are failing because then I will really kill the son of a bitch who charged me $800 to repair (yes I know I was ripped off). But anyway, I find, with the help of some very nice and hot Newport cop, the brake place and I pull up and guess what? The light goes off and NOTHING appears wrong. So I ask the very nice attendant how to get back to town and could he tell me a way that would by pass the traffic. And he’s like, yes. And I’m like, no you don’t understand, I have a direction disability and I get lost no matter what. And he says “you WON’T get lost. I’m like that too “(and I’m thinking but YOU live here!) So he gives me directions and of course, I go around and around the traffic circle because I kept taking the wrong turns, but finally, unbelieveably, I am BACK in downtown Newport and THAT only took an hour and a half.
I finally decide to go sailing in the bay on a boat called THE ADIRONDACK II (because her sister ship is in the New York Harbor) but she is booked for a private sail all day –it figures. But I take it all in stride and book some other ship, and end up sailing with her
and with him, which in case you can’t read it says, “Republican Party of Florida Fishing Trip”.
Which I guess is pretty apropos in Newport, right? But also, I see this:
and this:
And I think, except for that little twinge of nausea, today’s been a pretty good day.
Teddy Kennedy passed away while I was on vacation
Very sad news indeed. And, not so old these days considering he was only 77 — just about average for US males. But, just about 49 years older than Mary Jo Kopechni when she died (at 28).
Lara’s lousy vacation, day 3: Have a nice day!
Today is day 3 at the Hyatt in Newport, and not that I’m running out of things to do, but after 3 days alone (not that I’m LONELY mind you) well it was time to check with the conceirage (yes I know it’s spelled wrong but I’m on vacation leave me alone) to see what else was up in Newport. I mentioned to Phyliss that I had drinks last night at the glorious Castle Hill (at $1200 a night it better be friggin’ glorious).
And Phyliss was all like, “yes it is amazing. Did you know that someone DIED there a couple of days ago? They found him in the water. He went in to swim with his family and the next thing you know, there he was dead in the water. Must have been a heart attack,” she said pensively.
“Um, yeah, must have been,” I replied. “That’s horrible.” And then after polite pause, “so, I was thinking of renting one of those little carts…” and Phyliss says, “oh my goodness, NO. Do you know how dangerous they are? I mean, just the other day, I was driving my car (and it is little) and this girl (I think she was texting) smashed right into me at a stop sign. SMASHED RIGHT INTO ME! and if I were in one of those little carts…NOW I have to drive a HUGE rental car and I’m in physical therapy and my husband is too. My neck is killing me…this is just what I need at my age…” and I’m like, “at any age…” and Phyliss says, “but especially my age. And we just bought that little Mercedes.” And I’M thinking, she’s a concierge and can afford a Mercedes? Maybe I should just forgo being an entrepreneur and become a concierge at Hyatt. So I’m like, “yeah, it is awful, AWFUL” and Phyliss says “and it’s not EVEN illegal in Rhode Island to text while you drive. She thinks and then her face brightens, “well have a nice day!”. Oh, I will Phyl, don’t you worry.
Lara’s not so lousy vacation: Day 2
Vacation is supposed to be a time where you figure out what you want to do with your life. And I figured it out. I like, no LOVE just to talk. To people. About anything. So today I spend about an hour talking to this antique dealer, in her roasting oven store (no AC) about distressing the beautiful 1930’s mahogany dining room set that she was selling for $650 (and couldn’t give it away–if only I had the space for God Sakes SOMEONE buy it!), and about how bad things were in Newport for all the merchants, and about how to build a website (had to figure some business out of this). Then I spent the next two hours talking to another woman who ran a restaurant about her ex (who was a shit and she dumped him) and I realized that I better start my vacation. And so I did. This is where I ate lunch:
And this is what I had for lunch:
And this is what I had for dessert.
Then I walked. And walked. And walked. Not bad for day two. If you like to talk. And eat.
Laras lousy vacation: Day I
So, as CEO and acting president I decided the best thing to do for my newly formed company was for me to go on a vacation the second week on the job. I mean, don’t you? But for the first time ever, (well not ever, but almost) I couldn’t figure out who the hell to go with. Bella was like, “mom I’m bored whenever I go on vacation with you, I’m staying in the big dirty apple”. And others, “Lara, it’s just not a good week”, so I’m like, “f&ck it. I’m going alone.” And alone I go, 4 hours all by my lonesome to Newport, RI. And it’s nasty–i.e. weather, not the place.
But then I get there, and got this fantabulous, discount CEO rate at the Hyatt (which I think is great until I realize the Hyatt is way out of downtown, so not only do you have to pay $20 to park at the hotel, but an additional $15 to park in town, unless you take the Hyatt’s bus (which means you can’t get to the beach, but whateva– who am I to complain?) And also, they are upgrading me, which means, (though it sounded good at the time) you get a balcony that is covered with Seagull poop, so then you have to complain and all that jazz which takes another 60 minutes out of your coveted vacation. But any waaaay…
For dinner, I end up at The Mooring, which is right on Bowen’s Pier ’cause I looked for the perfect place with the perfect view. And when the “hostess” asked me “how many?” I said “one”. And she repeated it saying “one??”, like it wasn’t possible and that her hearing must have been bad, and I’m like “yeah, um, one” thinking that one really is the loneliest number. But then when she seated me in a not PERFECT spot and I asked for the one that was PERFECT looking at over at this:
she gave it to me, because, she confidentially told me later, she felt bad refusing, because I guess that this is saved for romantic couples, and I was like ONE. But anyway, then I got the mixed grill which was shrimp, scallops and cod, which came from this boat that very day: 
And then after that, I listened to an Adrian Grenier look-alike sing nice LITE FM music on his guiter while I sipped on champagne, and I have to say, one just didn’t seem that lonely after all. In fact, it was goddamn friggin’ awesome. And no side bar complaining either. 
How much are these jeans, or: being self employed is fantastic!
So, as most of you know (or many of you), last Monday marked my first day as an entrepreneur. That means, I now work for myself. A mid-sized corporation consisting of me, myself and I. And what better way grow that corporation, than to look big, act big and dress big. Which means, a short trip to Bergdorf Goodman.
After an hour of hunting around for some entrepreneurial bargains, and finding none to my satisfaction, I stumble upon, gladness of gladness, these jeans. 
And I’m like, “just look at this detail!”
So I try them on, because I just have to have them, not bothering with price. And they fit, well they fit me like I’m a big corporation, so I know in this digital world, I just have to have them. Otherwise, corporate failure. So I go to ring them up and the saleswoman tells me the price. Just take a guess internet, just one guess.
Well anyhow, if you want to see the price, HERE IT IS. I’ll let you figure out if they are hanging in my closet right now.