December 25th

just one little bite please!!!

 
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December 25th

Merry X-Mas? WPIX what are you thinking?

IF this is supposed to be festive, um guess again WPIX. Can’t be anything more depressing than a fake log burning on my TV. Merry, happy whatever.

 
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December 24th

Christmas puppies

And I can’t even get Chloe to poop on the paper perfectly.

 
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December 24th

We eat Chinese food on Christmas…

Nothing scarier, not even Halloween IV,  than a bunch of hungry Jews on Christmas at the only Chinese restaurant in the teeny town of Huckenschmuck New Jersey.

And nothing says it better than this video–so good, I had to re-post.

 
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December 17th

Cutest ever puppy story

It’s that time of year folks.  Who can resist??

 
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November 30th

Hanukahmas, Christmaka….things your minister never told you:

Note from Jews around the world the Christmas celebrating folks around the world:

1) Menorahs are not supposed to be decorated with additional adornments, and although Poinsettas look nice, it’s like hanging the Star of David at the top of the tree.

2) Jews do not, I repeat DO NOT feel badly if the Menorah (in your office building, apartment building, department store, etc) is only up during the eight days of Hanukah. In fact, the Menorah is only supposed to be lit for 8 days, and then put away right after the sunset of the eighth day until the next time Hanukah comes around. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you exactly what date that is because the Jewish calendar always gives us little surprises to keep us on our toes.

3) Most Jews have Christmas tree envy. From the time they are tiny children pressing their pug noses against the Christmas display window of the local store, until they are dead and buried. We don’t have them because we believe that Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Christ and while we do believe he lived, we don’t believe he was the savior. Unless we marry someone who is not Jewish. Then we suffer with the Jewish Guilt our mother’s gave us when we do have a tree. But, all Jews want to be invited to someone else’s house to celebrate near someone else’s Christmas tree.

4) Hanukah gifts are only supposed to be given to children. In fact, they are only supposed to get Hanukah gelt, which is money. We now go shopping for the 100 top people on our list because, all Jews need to keep up with the Joneses (or Weinsteins) so to speak.

5) Many Jewish parents allow their children to believe in Santa Claus. This is great while it lasts because we get Christmas and Hanukah. It just doesn’t last long enough,

6) The Hanukah bush does exist. I saw one this year. In an Israeli couple’s house. It was blue and white decorated with Star’s of David and tinsel. It looked weird. I don’t recommend it.

7) Please take your decorations down on January 2. It’s depressing after that and wastes lots of energy.

 
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September 11th

Ten Years

On Thursday night we were aware,
Of the strange buzz that filled the air.
The words that threatened created fear,
That 911 was still here.

We no longer live the same,
Our world has changed, from Osama’s fame.
The US ignorence is lost.
The 9000 lives* that it has cost.

Terrorist horror has existed for centuries past.
We’ve been lucky we’ve missed it’s blast.
But for Africa, the Middle East and many others as well.
This nightmare of violence has seen eons of hell.

As I look outside on Lexington street,
The cop blockade stops the cars they meet,
As though that will prevent it from happening again,
I think, it’s not “IF” (unfortunately, but “WHEN?”)

So exhausted from from living this way,
I wish I could wave a magic wand and say,
Please everyone let’s stop the madness,
Let’s cure cancer, HIV, hunger and all other sadness.

We’ve wasted centuries killing each other,
Over religion, and land, and oil, come ON we’re brothers!
Well I can’t do that, but can only pray,
That peace will come to the world one day.

So on this tenth my pain goes out,
To those who have to live without.
Never forget or forgive the attack.
But no words will ever bring them back.

*6000 service men and women killed in the war

 
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