Vacation weight: last day, Part 6

All good things must inevitably come to an end…even vacations. And, so of course, did mine, with a thump and a bang and the arrival of David or Danny or whatever that last hurricane’s name was because August 29th is so long ago it seems like a lifetime. But with this as my parting breakfast view, I’m really not so sad because if the weather was good, well then, I’d really have been depressed about leaving. And so I hop in the Lincoln and drive the 160 miles home which should have taken 3 1/2 hours but took 4 1/2 because 138 isn’t paved for at least 5 miles, and with the shocks on this car (which is 18 years old, don’t ask), I really didn’t want to have another $1800 replacement– yes that’s what they cost on a Lincoln from the 20th Century. But alas, I ramble.

And I get home, terrified of the scale so I don’t step on it for a day or two (at least until I figure I stop eating like the hoggette I described in the last post). So Monday comes, and oh my God, I have only gained a pound! And I’m like freaking out and celebrating and think that Mother Nature has given me a new found metabolism so I can continue eating the way I did last week (with the slight memory lapse that not once did I spend the day in front of a laptop because it was spent walking around exploring mansions and downtown Newport. Well, what a shocker then when this morning Mr. Scale revealed a TWO pound weight gain, and I’m like OH MY GOD, WTF? So I decide that I’d best get my New Balances on, get the ipod and do a quick run around Gramercy and I am so stressed out from my new job as CEO, that it doesn’t really take very long to go about 2 miles (even with the two stops to check that friggin’ buzzin’ Blackberry). But anyway, I feel pretty proud about getting back on track, so I scroll to my “WALKING TRACK” which is a bunch of calm, pretty music that every one who is 16 hates. I start my path back to East 31st, via 3rd Avenue, and I notice with amazement, a NEW yogurt place.

And I’m like, I’ve never seen this one before, might as well have a little taste, not many calories in a little taste. So I go in as though I’m going to order it if I like it (which I do) but than I innocently ask whether “plain” is the only flavor, (which I can clearly see IS, and it’s good, but hell I will not afford the calories) and they say yes, and I’m like “well, it’s a little too sour for me” and I nonchalantly stroll out. Then, not 4 blocks away comes ANOTHER surpriseand I’m like are YOU kidding me? How the hell are all these yogurt places going to survive? I’d better go check it out and see whether it has the gumption to outlive Yogurberry and doing my service to all the frozen Yogurts of NYC I go in and ask for a sample…just to make sure. And it’s even creamier and tastier than the previous one and I’m like, “I’ll have to come back with my daughter later. She’ll be pissed at me if I get this without her.” And I stroll out again, with the server nodding and smiling (while secretly throwing invisible darts at my back) and I don’t really feel guilty, because after all, I have TWO pounds to lose just to get back to my post vacation weight. And then I’m almost home and see the all too familiar

and I figure that if I am a true aficionado, in order to serve my readers,  I’d best do a taste test of Berrywild, just so this post has SOME value. And I do. And the Mocha is fabulous (even if it is just a sample) and I tell them I’ll come back after dinner, (don’t want to spoil my appetite) and they nod and smile and give me the frequent Berry Card. A run, a snack, a free lo cal snack AND a frequent Berry Card. I’m feeling pretty good. So good in fact, that I brought Bella back to use that frequent Berry card. So I could just have a taste of hers. Just a little taste.