Dirty Diet Secrets

I’m on a diet. OK, I’m trying to be on a diet. OK God dammit, I am NOT on a diet, I just pretend that I am on one so that every time I get on the friggin’ scale and see that I’ve gained another pound I convince myself that I WILL diet that day and for the rest of the week and lose that pound plus four more by the end of the week. And, sometimes I do. But in the meantime, along my soul searching trek to lose the weight and never gain it back I’ve found some guilty treats that taste guilty, but aren’t.

The first one:

OK, you don’t eat this, and that’s why it’s lowest on calories, fat and fiber. But doesn’t really solve the chocolate craving. (Other cravings, yes, for sure!)

But Vitatops do. Like chocolate (My Fav). And they don’t have preservatives, my pet FDA approval peeve. Plus, the last time I mentioned product on my blog I got some FREE samples from the company (Hellllllo, TRIDENT SPLASH). OK, I’m a product whore, I’ll admit it. But anyway, I found this link where you can get 10% off your order of Vitatops. Click here to order. (I’m hoping for the free product, but hell, you might as well take advantage.) Vita folks?

I HATE MYSELF. Because I can’t just eat one bag of Kettle Baked which otherwise would be only 100 calories. And once again, NO PRESERVATIVES. Run to your store and buy them. They are baked. And Salty. And delish.

Ok, I know last week I posted about that whole popcorn lung shit, but you know what? I still can’t resist. I LOVE popcorn. Microwave popcorn. (Besides, I can’t remember the last time I spent 24 hours with my nose in the popcorn bag.) And, it has to be Jollytime. I don’t know if there is crap in it, but frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn, because, guess what? I can eat a bag for dinner and be done. And pretend I am going to lose weight. And then maybe, I do.

Lastly, Quaker Lite Snacks. They come in all flavors (except in Duane Reade where they don’t have chocolate, but that’s my fav cause like I mentioned, I am a chocoholic. Or did I mention? ) Yes, I am. A chocoholic. If you are a chocoholic, or don’t know if you are one, and want to figure that out, go to TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE A CHOCOHOLIC.

So eat, live, love, enjoy. And for god sakes, STOP DIETING! Hey Weightwatchers, FREE MEMBERSHIP FOR MENTIONING????? (I just can’t help myself.)