American Idol Wrap Up

So, just in case you were one of the two people that didn’t watch the AI finale, I can sum it up in, well, few words:

On aging: Take some fantastic hints from Gene Simmons: wear face paint and your age will always be unlisted.

Or take a cue from Rod Stewart: Get a good surgeon. I mean, he had too, didn’t he?

Speaking Rod, (hum to “Maggie, I wish I’d never…”) and fill in Kara. You KNOW you agree.

And come one, those friggin’ chorus songs make me feel like I’m listening to a high school musical.

Product placement? A little heavy. A lot heavy. I am not buying a Ford Fusion just because Adam is now driving one. AT&T — the only good think is texting votes to AI. Otherwise, service sucks. Come on Verizon, pick up the iPhone already.

The highlight of the whole night? Crazy girl, she seriously needs some drugs, not leaving the stage. What WERE they thinking? Well, it does make for good television.

Also, Judge Aptow’s new movie starting July 31. Ok, 9:59, announce the God Damn Winner already! Can we STRETCH this out any further??? And the winner is…Kris Allen. OK we knew that the cute boy had to win. What a disappointment cause we know WHO the REAL superstar is. Even Kris says, “ADAM DESERVES THIS.” What more do you need to say? And he believes it. This is NOT the face of a winner. Right?