February 2nd

Wonderful Wednesday: Things I am thankful for in order of appearance

1) Trader JOES: A little bit of LA has come to NYC. Check out gals there are actually NICE, and smiling and call me ma’am (well, that I don’t like so much) but the price and the LA ‘tude is something the cab drivers can learn from. (Plus I friggin’ HATE how big and nasty Whole Foods has become. They don’t give a crap anymore).
2) $1.99 Glass of wine. OK, buy the whole bottle, drink the whole bottle. Or at least half, especially after a day like today. So, for $1.99 have a glass of very nice VENDAGE Chardonnay with my third favorite thing,
3) Jungle Lime Mexican Grill– unfortunately Park Avenue’s best kept secret (because it will go out of business) fantastic and cheap and healthy Mexican–Bella and I ate A LOT for $16. Like really? You can’t buy groceries for that and make a meal.

4) Live to Dance: OH MY GOD! can you die for these two? D’Angelo and Amanda– you KNOW they are re-incarnated. Otherwise they are as SCARY as they are amazing:

5) Modern Family on ABC– Need I say more?

6) Ghiradelli chocolate chips- 35 Chips, 70 Calories.

7) The internet cause I am blogging.

Um that about wraps it up.  Life is good.  At least for today.

February 1st

Can anyone get off Facebook

Really? You HAVE to check FB in the elevator?? Why on gods earth does this bug me so much? But then again, why am I compelled to post a blog on it. Sosdd.

January 30th

Connecticut, here I come. Or not.

A repost of someone else’s thoughts.  Lara — still in big dirty apple.  And now you see why.

August  15 - Moved to our new home in  Connecticut . It’s so beautiful here.  The ocean & Sound looks so majestic.  I  can hardly wait to see it snow covered.  I’m going to love it  here!

October  14 - Connecticut is  definitely the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all  the colors and shades of red and orange.  Went for a ride through the  park and saw some deer.  They are so graceful. Certainly they are the  most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise, I LOVE IT  HERE!!

November  10 - Deer season will start  soon. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous animal.   Hope it will snow soon. I love it here. Those red and orange leaves have  covered my yard. Looks like a magnificent multi-colored carpet. HOW  BEAUTIFUL.  Raking and cleaning up the yard will be an opportunity  for invigorating exercise in the cool crisp  air.

November  15 - Ah, more leaves and more  exercise.

November  18 - Jesus, still more leaves.  Guess it’s best to wait until they’ve all fallen before I rake  again.

November 25 -  Finally, all of the trees lost their leaves and with today’s final  raking it’s over for this season.

Chiropractor suggested I use a lawn  maintenance service next year. Only four blisters became infected. Should  probably remember to use gloves.

November 30 - What the fuck? Where did  all of those leaves come from?  Had a little wind last night and the  lawn is covered again.

Oh well, they’ll just have to wait until  spring.

December 12 - It  snowed last night, FINALLY. Woke up to find everything blanketed in  white.  It looks like a  postcard.

We  went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway.  Had a snowball fight (I  won) and when the snowplow came by and we had to shovel the end of the  driveway again.

What a beautiful place. I Love Connecticut   !

December 14 -  More snow last night, I love it. The snow plow did his trick to the driveway again.  I Love it here.

December 19 -  More snow again last night. Can’t get out of the driveway.  Can’t to  get to work. I’m exhausted from shoveling. Fucking  snowplow.

December 22 - More of that white  shit fell again last night. As if dealing with the leaves weren’t bad  enough, now I’ve got blisters all over my hands from shoveling, must  remember to wear gloves. I think the snowplow hides around the corner and  waits until I’m finished shoveling the driveway. The  asshole.

December 25 -  Merry Fucking Christmas. More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on  that son-of-a-bitch who drives the snowplow, I swear I’ll kill the  bastard. Don’t know why they don’t use more salt on the roads to melt the  fucking ice.

December 27 -  More white shit last night. Have been inside for three days except for  shoveling out the driveway after that plow goes through every time.  Fucking gloves got wet and then froze on my  hands.

Doctor  said it was just a mild case of frost bite, disfiguration is probably only  temporary. Can’t go anywhere, car is stuck in a mountain of white shit.  The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the shit tonight. Do  you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches  is?

December  28 - The fucking weatherman  was wrong. We got 34 inches of that white shit. At this rate it won’t melt  ’till summer.

The  plow got stuck up the road and the bastard came to the door and asked to  borrow a shovel. After I told him I’d already broken six of them  shoveling all the shit he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one on  his fucking head.

January 4 -  Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on  the way back I hit a damned deer that ran in front of my car.  Did  about $3000 damage.  Fucking beast should be killed.  Wish the  hunters had killed them all last  November.

May 3 - Took the  car to the garage in town. The thing is rusting out from all the fucking  salt they put all over the roads.

May  10 - Moved to Punta Gorda , Florida   . I  can’t imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever  live in that God forsaken state of Connecticut .

January 29th

Suny Purchase: Paradise found. Or lost. Let’s see.

So today, I went with Bella (oh my GOD soon to be 18 and a college freshman– are you FRIGGIN’ KIDDING ME??) to Suny Purchase to which I was thrilled that she got accepted because not only is it a great arts school, writing school and only 45 minutes from the city, but AFFORDABLE too.

So, I, like the old farty mom that I am, go up to a kid and say, “where is the Student Union”, and he’s like “um, student union?  I don’t think we have one of them.” I clarify, “student center” and he says OH, the STEW.  And, I’m like, “yeah, yeah, the STEW” –(I feel really dumb saying that)  and he gives us the directions and we get there and it is graffettied and gross and there are about 10 skate boarder guys,
(yes, each one cuter than the next) and I’m like “Bella is NOT going here”, but of course she LOVES it. Oh and by the way the skate boarder guys are actually SKATE BOARDING in the friggin’ student union.  And I REALLY don’t get this.  (Nothing like Wesleyan, no NOTHING like it at all, but I understand it really makes no difference because drug usage there is just as bad, only more carefully planned so as not to get caught.) But MEANWHILE, back to Purchase. So due to the high volume of coffee that both B and I consumed, we needed to venture into the eqully gross bathroom, also fully graffettied with wonderful colliegiate sayings like, “Jason loves to eat p*&sy”, and great thoughts like that.

 The rest of the tour was somewhat less eventful, but on the way home it’s like this (as in discussing the gross bathroom walls:
BELLA: The walls reminded me of the boys I know who like porn.
ME: All guys like porn.
BELLA: No, bad porn.
ME: There is no bad porn.
BELLA: Well, the kind where it pinches girl’s…
ME: STOOPPPPPP. Don’t say no more.
BELLA: Masochists.
ME: No Sadists.
BELLA: Well, they say if a girl says it’s OK, it’s OK. So they are Sadists too.
ME: um. No. The girls are Masochists. The boys are…
BELLA: Sadists.
ME: As long as we get that right.

Purchase. Hmmmm. Really?

January 27th

Enough with the winter fuc!ing wonderland!

January 23rd

Lara’s Lousy Movie Review: Company Men

So I gotta say, usually I am not running to anything with Ben Afleck in it.  I am not sure how he and Matt Damon got so paired up, because in terms of acting, Ben can’t hold a candle to Matt, much less a movie role, but he is adorable, in an annoying Boston accent kind of way.  (But I do want to know, why all of Ben’s movie’s of late those put on South B. accents?  I go there all the time and have yet to hear anyone say pak the ca in the ga– well what ever.)  Back to the Company Men. 

I decide to go see it because of all the THUMBS UP on 777film, and well, I’m sorry, I end up sitting through 2 hours of an incredibly boring, sappy, bullshit formula movie. Ben. Not so surprised. But Tommy Lee, what were you thinking??  Spoiler alert.  Ben loses job (but still keeps his $850,000 house, Porche and Golf Club Membership)  After 12 years, he only gets 3 months severance.  (Nothing is stated about unemployment benefits.) So after his benefits run out, he is screwed because apparently he has absolutely no savings.  So after they sell the house, the Porche and the son’s X-Box, they STILL end up moving in with Ben’s parents.  Then Ben takes a job with his brother in law who he hates, but now likes, who is Kevin Costner (still incredibly hot)

I am really, really sorry, but REALLY?  You don’t have enough money for an apartment?  OK, well, if you are still following here, there are constant voice overs on the radio about what the president is doing to bail out the banks, and somewhere in here we find out that the owner Ben’s ex-company makes $20 million (yes he started and built the company and wants to keep his $ millions even though he has to lay off about 8000 people to do it–even his best friend, Tommy Lee Jones).  Somewhere in there is also a suicide because another guy decided he couldn’t afford to send his daughter to Brown anymore, and so of course she would much rather get his life insurance than quit Brown. 

Get my drift?  In the end, Tommy Lee starts another perfect company and hires back a few hundred of the people his ex-partner has laid off.  The end.  Except I can’t figure out if Tommy Lee continues the affair he was having with the 40 years younger blond HR women who fired everyone in the first place.

So, I am thinking, political mover and shaker that he is, Ben should start taking some of the millions (he earned $37 million last year) and start giving to all the unemployed auto workers, so they can start their own company.  Ship building?  Not so much.

Oh yeah, and if there is ANYTHING that I took away from this movie…it’s that I ain’t ever working for no one again.  Catch my drift?

January 22nd

Freaky, eeky stairwell

So, listen, this is the stairwell outside my gym. I think it’s to give you an out if, once you’ve spent the last hour staring at all your rumples and bumples in the mirror as you fight with the eliptical and you decide life is no longer worth living, it’s right there in front of you. The way to end it all.  Click to see the larger view.

Page 5 of 47« First...«34567»...Last »