I know I am not the only one who does this. Dump food in the garbage…so you don’t pig out and eat the whole goddamn chocolate cake. And then. Reconsider. All those starving children in Africa. I KNOW I am not the only one.
This, perhaps, is the only reason to ever pick up a vacuum. That and mile high dust bunnies.
No one really likes to get a haircut. Or a bath. But these two say it all. Without nary a word.
Jayseus. How long does someone have to wait these days for a wash and trim?
He is SUCH a pain in the ARSE. Complaining doesn’t make it happen any faster. It’s like New York, ya know? Might as well just relax and take it easy.
Maybe if I just stick my nose under this gate here, my mother will come and rescue me from this god-forsaken place.
She was tough, she was rough, she was mighty. All 2 1/2 pounds of her.
So, Chloe has this little, teeny, tiny problem. It’s called SHITTING ON THE RUG WHEN SHE IS PISSED OFF AT US IF THINGS DON’T GO HER WAY. Like, for example, if we LEAVE HER ALONE WHEN WE GO OUT TO DINNER, or more more common, when we LEAVE HER ALONE. So, I came up with this solution, that she usually respects when it comes to pooping.
It’s called, THE BLOCKADE. See how well it works?
So today, Chloe and I were just drinking our morning java and minding our own business at the local outdoor cafe, when along comes this loud, obnoxious skate board dude. Well Chloe was in obvious agreement with me because all 10 pounds of her body lunged at him, showing him who was boss, Goddammit. He nearly fell off his skateboard, which gladdened me, because that noise scared the crap out of me while I was trying to soak up all the important daily happenings on my blackberry. You can see how intimidating she can be from this recent photo of her during a squirrel hunt.
“She doesn’t like the noise,” I explained nonchalantly. He took his skateboard slunked away and waited for my big old bowser and me to leave. So THERE!
After long days hunt, Chloe claims exhaustion.