The Cleaning Lady: Part II– But is it Really Clean?
So, my second new cleaning lady actually quit the job before she even started, she said, because she got a full time job. Ok, bravo. Glad we could help you.
So, I have continued to resort to my own special rub and scrub talents, which, while it’s not my favorite way to spend a Saturday after working 50 hour weeks, it’s not the worst either. Call me crazy, but it’s kinda therapeutic. (Alright, maybe I shouldn’t have dumped the shrink but it’s a hell of a lot cheaper. BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO)
So meanwhile, Bella gets asked to clean …
With My Heart In My Mouth
Saturday, the end of a long friggin’ nightmarish week…you can tell from my LAST POST that, well, things could be a little easier on the home front. Teenagers have a way of wishing you could take every lie back you told your mother, (like that one about sleeping over Debbie Zinder’s house when you were really going out with Alex,) so that the god’s would reward your good behavior and anoint you with the perfect child who doesn’t make you go gray and gain ten pounds and become addicted to chocolate and wine. But I …
Cool Mom, Stupid Mom
STOP MAKING ME ACT LIKE MY MOTHER! I yelled those words at Bella when she was 10 and driving me to madness (which she has continued to do ever since). When I was 14, I knew for sure, that, when I grew up, I would not be my mother. Never,ever. “I will NEVER yell at my kids” I would scream at my mother. Oh no, I WOULD be a cool mom.
And sometimes I am. I talk about boys, sex, drugs, clothes, BIU’s (bitches in Uggs) and, lots of other things with Bella. However, …
Lip Exfoliation
Bella: My lips are a different color, aren’t they?
Me: No.
Bella: Yes, they are. Look.
Me: They aren’t a different color. They’re just chapped.
Bella: Yes, that’s what I mean, they are chapped, so they are two different colors. I exfoliated them….
The Itch: Part III
Today, the most blessed event of my entire week in LA.
Hey mom, guess what I DON’T HAVE anymore???
Let me guess. For those of you who missed Part I and Part 117 of the Odessey of Teen Bikini Shaving, go here: I Got An Itch and The Itch Part 117. That should bring you up to date. Now, if you’ll leave me with my sunset and Pina Colota, I bid you adieu from La La land.
P.S. For those of you who don’t get the relationship between this picture and shaving, there is none. I just …
The Itch: Part one hundred and seventeen
So, the itching hasn’t stopped. Last night, Lara with the PhD in “how to drive your daughter”, crazy took a peek and everything looked fine to me, but then what do I know, it’s not like I have any other qualification other than to me they all look the same, and unless there’s a dog or something hanging off of it, I wouldn’t know a rash from an insect bite, from some other disease (not that I’ve seen more than the average gal who sometimes takes a shower in the gym with other women.)
So Bella, …
I Got An Itch
A TRUE STORY ABOUT THE LIFE OF AN ITCH… Mom and teen talk
DAY 1:
Bella: I have an itch.
Me: OK.
Bella: Down by the watchacoo.
Me: Huh?
Bella: You KNOW.
Me: And?
Bella: I shaved.
Me: Why in GOD’s NAME did you shave?
Bella: I don’t like hair.
Me: Wonderful.
Bella: So, how long does it last? The itching?
Me: I don’t know! Why don’t you GOOGLE IT?????
Bella: What do I type?
Me: I don’t know. Maybe: “I shaved, I itch. How long does it last?”
Bella: YOU DO IT.
Me: You shaved. YOU DO IT.
DAY 2:
Bella: The itching is DRIVING ME CRAZY
Me: Don’t shave anymore. Why did you …