Two year old delivers baby
Now if that ain’t the way to save us all about $2000. Truly amazing. And I can’t even get Bella to make her bed. Go figure. I guess they do it differently down south.
However, it bothers me a tad that the doctors didn’t know it was a boy. Where was his wee-wee during all those sonograms? I guess medicine …
New York or LA: worst place to raise a teenage daughter
It’s been ages and ages I know. But that’s what happens when you become a CEO, little did I know, you become a slave to your business. At first, I was like, no more frowns in the morning, no more frowns at night. Because I work for myself, no one left to fight. Hmmmm. Something like that. Well anyway, I diverge from the topic which, was brought up because, one of my fav shows (Californication–if you haven’t watched it, you should ) has a dilemma…his baby mama (let’s say teenage daughter mama) has moved from …
Hypochondria
So, those of you who know me and love me. Or hate me, also know that I am a level 10 hypocondriate (10 being highest on a scale of 1-10). And no one anywhere can convince me otherwise, because despite all my many hours of shrinkage, and despite all my the sage advise on how to get rid of colds and flus, I am the worst patient. Ever. Which brings me to Bella. She’s been staying at her dad’s house (one of the few times he comes in handy), because, well, she just IS. And now, because it’s that time …
Mother daughter talk…in reverse
So, in an effort to catch me at my own game, Bella my forever teenager (please tell me 21 is around the corner because I just don’t know HOW I am going to survive 16), figures out she is going to get me to spill the beans on my romantic life. But believe me Bella if there was one, YOU would be the first to know. This is my clever way of turning conversation back on her, and thus ensuring her virginity until she’s 35.
BELLA: …
THE talk…with Bella
So tonight we had “the talk” (or a semblance of one or whatever appears to be one in 2009– somewhat different than the ones that I had with my mother in the ’70’s) and here’s how it went.
BELLA: So it’s way more awkward for kids to talk about sex with your parents than the parents feel about talking to kids about sex.
ME: You feel AWKWARD, with ME? Like WHY? I talked about sex with MY mother.
BELLA: You did? Do I want to hear this?
ME: I don’t know do you?
BELLA: I guess.
ME: I …
fear, no TERROR of flying
So, as many of you know, I am TERRIFIED to fly. I haven’t always been this way but perhaps it’s because I’m a single mother…I worry about Bella if something happened to me. Not that she doesn’t have a dad, grandma and aunties. Well, maybe that’s WHY I’m worried. Or maybe its because there’s been no less than 6 major crashes, YES SIX, this year. The most recent 3 unresolved.
At any rate, my anxiety is so high, that it starts the night before with thoughts like, “maybe this time is the last time I am …
Cell phone ransom: taxi cab holdup
At 8:45 this morning I got the dreaded call from Bella which was, “mom, I took a cab even though you told me not to and it cost $15 and I left my cell phone in the cab…” And I’m like, shit, another 2 years with Verizon just to get her the free phone. So I do what any other self respecting human being does in this case, I call it, and call it and call it. When, at last an hour later, a foreign voice …