April 3rd

Top Ten Signs You are a Chocoholic


1) You can’t stop eating chocolate
2) It doesn’t matter if you have your period or not. You can’t stop eating chocolate
3) Never pass up free chocolate
4) Fantasize about chocolate more than you fantasize about hot men.
5) Must have chocolate at least 3 times daily or you will scream like a fish whore housewife at everyone who works for you or lives with you or touches your arm in the subway accidentally.
6) You can’t stop eating chocolate.
7) Any kind of chocolate will do even if it’s Hershey’s which usually tastes more like plastic than chocolate unless you buy it when you are in Hershey Park PA which most people on this side of the planet try to avoid at all costs unless you have a child under the age of ten and even then it’s to be avoided at all costs unless you are a chocoholic.
8) The Max Brenner Chocolate by the Bald Man is your Idea of a Perfect date on the Match.com questionnaire (If you live in Manhattan)

9) You need to have desert even if you’ve just eaten 4 pieces of pizza and your pants can’t close and your body is screaming to STOP IT, and dessert happens to be a hot fudge sundae with chocolate ice cream and brownie pieces.
10) You have decided to commit yourself to a program, because you know, if this continues, you will destroy your life, family, career and your entire spring/summer wardrobe will have to go the homeless shelter down the street (not such a bad idea) because your obsession is making you go up two clothing sizes.

If you have one or more of these signs, you may need help. Click here to get some.

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