July 10th

The lucky Kenneth Cole sandal. Just my luck.

So last week I was walking down 5th Avenue and saw this large crowd going into Kenneth Cole, and I’m thinking, “what are they giving away some wine or something?”. I go in and they are serving wine, and everything today is 30% OFF. Today only. So am I LUCKY or what?

I go in under the pretense of checking it all out, (I really just wanted a glass of chardonnay) but after a glass, things started looking really cheap. So I start trying on shoes and find a pair I really LOVE (and I NEVER buy trendy things ’cause I keep them forever and ever–just ask my mother).

And the sales person encouragingly tells me how hot they look on my foot and today they are only $70 and tomorrow they are going back up to $100 and I think “what a goddamn bargain” I better buy now. But that little voice inside me, the one I hate, says to put it back and save the cash. Which I do, and I leave the store wistfully thinking of these really cute LOW gladiator sandals.

I begin to look at every store I pass for a reasonably cheaper facsimile of these shoes, but i just can’t get Kenneth out of my brain. And so on Saturday I go on KC’s website and low and behold, THERE THEY ARE for $49.95 plus free shipping. And I’m like SOOO lucky!

They came last night and I tried them on and I’m feeling that I’ve died and gone to heaven. Just before I went to bed, I tried them on one more time, just to make sure, ya know? And, I am happy, sweet dreams for Lara tonight. But then, I go to unzip the back and this is what happens.

Now you could say that I’ve not only gained weight in my arse, but most likely my heel as well, but the bigger dilemma is HOW THE HELL DO I GET THIS SHOE OFF MY FOOT? And I figure I am just going to have to sleep in the Goddamn Kenneth’s. And I’m like, “you’ve friggin’ got to be kidding me!” It’s not like there are 24 hour emergency shoe repair guys, are there? Or do I just call the 24 hour lock smith, pay him $50 bucks to get me out. So after 1/2 hour of sweating and swearing, I got it off. But of course I CAN’T keep them so I’m not sure if I should be depressed about that, or just get another pair.

What a roller coaster of a day. And I thought it was bad that my internet, telephone and TV are out, thanks to Time Warner Cable. And for this I pay $200 a month? So, feeling very depressed about the shoes, I call the cable company to yell at them one more time and guess what? They lower my package by $75. For a full year. And then, who knows? But at least I’ll be able to find a better gladiator with the savings, right?

Later skater.

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