Hot Jewish Women
I resent the fact that when you Google HOT WOMEN, not ONE of the 15 million results show Hot Jewish Women. What kind of prejudice is that? I mean, every other type of woman has their own hot site: Hot Russian Brides, Hot Brazilian Women, Hot Japanese Woman, Hot SPORTY Women (really???), Hot Gymnastic Women, Hot STAR TREK Woman (STAR TREK??), Hot Knocked Up Women, Hot Women Playing their drums, Hot Women Belly Dancing, Hot Women in a Hot Mess, Hot PREGNANT women, Hot Spartans, Hot Korean Women, Hot Tempered Women, Hot Women Dancing, Hot Black African Girls, Hot Latina Women. Even the 15th results page, when Hot Flashes starting coming up, I knew there was a problem. So I double searched: Hot Jewish Women and the closest thing that came up in that search was Jacob Richman’s Hot Sites for a Jewish Shiduch (match) http://www.jr.co.il/hotsites/j-dating.htm. It can’t be possible that Star Trek Women ARE hotter than Jewish women…can it? Wait a minute. Don’t answer that.
The Kiss, Part I: The Lip Virgin
The Mother Daughter Talk…Yes, With Bella and Me
So mommy, I know this girl who hooked up with this guy cause she hadn’t ever kissed any body before, so does that make her a slut?
No. So who did you kiss?
Nobody.
Who did you kiss? I can’t believe you had your first kiss and you’re not telling me. Read the rest of this entry »
July 4th Exercise
Note exercise strategy and accompanying calorie counts: Trust me, it’s better than eating.
1) Walk many steps. Hail taxi. Go to 7th and 17th. Enter door of new Lohmann’s Gym. (50 Calories)
2) Go up long step escalator (40 Calories)
3) Try on lots of clothing. (20 Calories) Observe following:
a. Who the hell, over 10 years old, wears a SIZE “0”?? I mean, does that human being really exist? If so, hunt down and send to hospital. She is anorexic and needs immediate medical attention. Read the rest of this entry »
The Kiss, Part II: Romance is Dead
INTERNET DATING…when you’re 14.
WANTS2BKIST: yo
SOBVULTURE: how are u
WANTS2BKIST: good u
SOBVULTURE: good really stressed
WANTS2BKIST: dido here
SOBVULTURE: cool. so, I wanna kno something. have u hooked up with someone yet? (NOTE HOOKED UP = KISSED)
WANTS2BKIST: nope
WANTS2BKIST: y u ask
SOBVULTURE: to be honest get on that quick
Therapy: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Your relationship with your therapist is very special. Sometimes, too special and you begin to be afraid to make a move without her.
Untitled from Lara Dean on Vimeo.
Some examples: should I have a baby? marry my boyfriend? change jobs? move? move my furniture? order in? wear the blue dress? file my nails? curl my eyelashes? If you find that every move you make is tied to a call to the therapist, it may just be time…to break up.