New Weightwatchers Point Values! Woo hoo.
So today Weight Watchers released the New and Improved Weight Watchers point values. So, first, I log and and GUESS WHAT? I am sooo happy. I go from a measly 22 points per day to twenty whopping NINE points and I am like psyched. And most importantly, most very importantly is the fact that all fruits and vegetables are ZERO points. Did you HEAR ME WORLD???? ZERO FRIGGIN’ points. I am so happy if I were a dog my tail would be wagging so hard, my body would fall off.
But wait. Wait a gosh darn minute. What’s that you say?? FERMENTED fruit, as in fruit of the VINE doesn’t COUNT as a fruit? What the… I rapidly log in to my account and look up WINE. The world starts to spin. Faster and faster. A glass of wine is now FOUR POINTS!! FOUR points? Up from TWO? Are you KIDDING ME?? (Yes, that was all cap worthy) Is this the god damn prohibition starting all over? (OK, so I watch a little too much HBO). You, Weight Watchers team are telling me I can have 20 bananas today, and sit all day on the pot without avail tomorrow and use ZERO POINTS. But one teensy weensy glass of red wine is FOUR, count ‘em FOUR points?
Well, OK. I guess you guys know what you are doing. But at this time I recall to memory a brief conversation I had with Jean Neiditch (Weight Watchers loving founder) two years ago. She said to me, (in a very nasel, Queens accent–heavier than Leah Remini if you can picture), “points, it’s all so complicated now. When I started Weight Watchers I said here are the foods you CAN eat, and here are the foods you CAN’T eat. And that was my diet.” And I’m like, as long as wine is on that list, I’m with you. Wait, was it?