September 16th

Naturally thin

So, The Learning Annex has this class called: “how to be naturally thin”, but it’s like if I were NATURALLY THIN I wouldn’t have to be on fucking Weight Watchers would I? I mean doesn’t NATURALLY THIN mean that you don’t have to do ANYTHING to be thin because you are NATURALLY thin? Meaning, I wouldn’t have to take a class to learn how to be naturally thin, because it’s natural. Like, if you are a NATURAL BLOND, you don’t have to die your hair. If you have naturally dark skin…guess what, NO TANNING SALONS (which you shouldn’t do ANYWAY, because of skin cancer and all that but you get my drift). If you have naturally plump lips…no Restylane, naturally blue eyes, NO CONTACT LENS…leading me back to my original point, naturally thin…NO LEARNING ANNEX CLASS. However, the lure of Bethanny Frankel RealHousewives of NY star (also Martha Stewart Apprentice runner up) was just too strong for me to deny. And here’s what I found out:

  • she teaches you when you are really hungry (um isn’t that what stomach growling is about?) I don’t know about you, but I don’t have any success telling my stomach to shut up.
  • Think about food in a positive way (except for mushrooms, I’ve never had that problem)
  • Exercise control over your body (um DUH– this isn’t natural, especially when you have a 16 year old daughter who drives you nuts and are a brand new CEO with NO clients AND your 1993 Lincoln needs a $1000 of repairs AND your poodle continues to poop on the rug despite 4 walks a day (it just LOOKS like a wee-wee pad). It’s like REALLY? I’m supposed to control the urge to splurge? Natural my ass.
  • Practice what the Italians do “Eat little, but well”– last time I was in Italy, many people were eating well. But little? Not so much.
  • Allow yourself to be naturally thin. HUH? Going back to my original point…Natural means you don’t have to do anything because it’s NATURAL. (sorry for all the CAPS but just couldn’t help it tonight)

So, since the course fee is only $44, I’m considering it. A few other choices popped out at me, what do you think?

 
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