March 20th

Laundry Room Etiquette

When you share the room with many others on your floor of your apartment building, it’s good to know the rules:

1) Take the laundry out of machine as soon as it’s done. Don’t leave in machine overnight because you forgot after downing ¾ of a bottle of wine by yourself and falling asleep on the couch because your ex called to tell you he was getting married. Or, you could end up with rock hard towels and panties and that won’t get your bloody ex back, will it?

2) Take laundry out of dryer as soon as it’s done. Otherwise, you could end up with many missing socks, leaving you with lots of half pairs because the guy who grabbed your laundry out of the dryer is a hot 20- something son of a bitch who parties all night and only gets 2 hours of sleep before doing the laundry but still looks good enough to jump, but is too hung over to notice that he didn’t get all of your stuff out of the dryer, leaving you with many missing half pairs, going back to the main point… TAKE LAUNDRY OUT OF DRYER AS SOON AS IT’S done.

3) Take Your Lint out of the Lint Catcher in the Dryer: Because if you don’t, I will hunt you down and make you take your lint out of the dryer. Where did you grow up, in a BARN you lazy asshole? (but animals don’t know any better, so barns aren’t really that bad) because, at this point of my life, I really shouldn’t have to clean someone else’s lint out of the dryer, I should be able to afford dryer of my own.


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