August 23rd

Laras lousy vacation: Day I

So, as CEO and acting president  I decided the best thing to do for my newly formed company was for me to go on a vacation the second week on the job. I mean, don’t you? But for the first time ever, (well not ever, but almost) I couldn’t figure out who the hell to go with. Bella was like, “mom I’m bored whenever I go on vacation with you, I’m staying in the big dirty apple”. And others, “Lara, it’s just not a good week”, so I’m like, “f&ck it. I’m going alone.”  And alone I go, 4 hours all by my lonesome to Newport, RI. And it’s nasty–i.e. weather, not the  place.

But then I get there, and got this fantabulous, discount CEO rate at the Hyatt (which I think is great until I realize the Hyatt is way out of downtown, so not only do you have to pay $20 to park at the hotel, but an additional $15 to park in town, unless you take the Hyatt’s bus (which means you can’t get to the beach, but whateva– who am I to complain?) And also, they are upgrading me, which means, (though it sounded good at the time) you get a balcony that is covered with Seagull poop, so then you have to complain and all that jazz which takes another 60 minutes out of your coveted vacation. But any waaaay…

For dinner, I end up at The Mooring, which is right on Bowen’s Pier ’cause I looked for the perfect place with the perfect view. And when the “hostess” asked me “how many?” I said “one”. And she repeated it saying “one??”, like it wasn’t possible and that her hearing must have been bad, and I’m like “yeah, um, one” thinking that one really is the loneliest number. But then when she seated me in a not PERFECT spot and I asked for the one that was PERFECT looking at over at this:

she gave it to me, because, she confidentially told me later, she felt bad refusing, because I guess that this is saved for romantic couples, and I was like ONE.  But anyway, then I got the mixed grill which was shrimp, scallops and cod, which came from this boat that very day:  

And then after that, I listened to an Adrian Grenier look-alike sing nice LITE FM music on his guiter while I sipped on champagne, and I have to say, one just didn’t seem that lonely after all.  In fact, it was goddamn friggin’ awesome.  And no side bar complaining either. 





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