Lara’s lousy vacation, day 3: Have a nice day!
Today is day 3 at the Hyatt in Newport, and not that I’m running out of things to do, but after 3 days alone (not that I’m LONELY mind you) well it was time to check with the conceirage (yes I know it’s spelled wrong but I’m on vacation leave me alone) to see what else was up in Newport. I mentioned to Phyliss that I had drinks last night at the glorious Castle Hill (at $1200 a night it better be friggin’ glorious).
And Phyliss was all like, “yes it is amazing. Did you know that someone DIED there a couple of days ago? They found him in the water. He went in to swim with his family and the next thing you know, there he was dead in the water. Must have been a heart attack,” she said pensively.
“Um, yeah, must have been,” I replied. “That’s horrible.” And then after polite pause, “so, I was thinking of renting one of those little carts…” and Phyliss says, “oh my goodness, NO. Do you know how dangerous they are? I mean, just the other day, I was driving my car (and it is little) and this girl (I think she was texting) smashed right into me at a stop sign. SMASHED RIGHT INTO ME! and if I were in one of those little carts…NOW I have to drive a HUGE rental car and I’m in physical therapy and my husband is too. My neck is killing me…this is just what I need at my age…” and I’m like, “at any age…” and Phyliss says, “but especially my age. And we just bought that little Mercedes.” And I’M thinking, she’s a concierge and can afford a Mercedes? Maybe I should just forgo being an entrepreneur and become a concierge at Hyatt. So I’m like, “yeah, it is awful, AWFUL” and Phyliss says “and it’s not EVEN illegal in Rhode Island to text while you drive. She thinks and then her face brightens, “well have a nice day!”. Oh, I will Phyl, don’t you worry.