Chicago, Chicago, it’s my kind of town
So, I was in Chicago this week, an awfully awesome city. And this guy from Nashville says, after you ma’am, are you going to Nashville too? And I’m like nope, New YORK. And he says, “wow, the big city. I wasn’t impressed with Chicago.” And I can’t figure out why this guy from Nashville, land of hush puppies and fried food and fried food isn’t impressed with Chicago, so I say, well I AM, (mainly because I just came from lunch where I ate this chocolate fusion cake which was hot fudge on chocolate, smothered in chocolate and who in the hell can not be impressed by that??). And he laughs, and I say, ANYWHERE out of the big dirty apple is impressive. And he laughs harder, in that southern kind of gentlemanly way (which is very impressive to me, but he’s really not my type, but at least I impressed SOMEONE. (That J-Date thing still isn’t panning out so I cancelled.)
But anyway, that is not the point of this story, just a little background info. Well, I chose to fly out of Midway Airport, because it never EVER fails that I sit on the ground at O’ Hare for like 2 or 3 or 4 hours (last time I was prepared with the Chinese from the food court-but it didn’t change the fact that it took me eight hours to go an 1 ½ flight.) So I rush like a banshee from my 3:15 meeting to catch a 5PM flight, and I’m like all happy because I get there ON TIME. But then I notice, the very serious nature of security here with big signs that say “NATIONAL HOMELAND SECURITY” and all the checkers are little white boys (or girls, but I can’t tell because their hair is so short, but my person is wearing a flower earring, so I assume it’s a girl until I see the name on the badge - which is DANIEL) ALL WEARING GUNS. And I’m like, “did I miss something? I mean did something serious happen here at Midway with Terrorism? “Cause at JFK, where 911 happened, you usually see a (and I’m really sorry if I’m insulting here) but a lazy security checker, chewing lots of gum and fooling around with the other security folks-and I generally feel somewhat insecure because the security is making me feel generally not so secure. But Midway for God’s sakes , it’s not exactly a hot bed of terrorism, but then again, what do I know? And I continue to see lots of Homeland Security Officers with guns, but I move on, until the very serious frowning x-ray machine lady (I can tell ‘cause she has long hair) is checking and rechecking eveyone’s stuff. As though the barefoot girl with stringy jeans and two pounds of makeup may actually have an atomic weapon or something. (And I didn’t even take OUT my plastic bag of mascara). That gets through, but my little brown purse doesn’t and needs to be swept AGAIN. And I start to panic that I’ll miss the 5 o’clock. But it passes security check 2, and I rush to the gate with well, 40 minutes to spare.
So, I start browsing around and see this very large exhibition (next to the Hudson Newspaper Stand -what is it about them in airports?) about soldiers and military and everything they’ve done for us, with the names of the soldiers that didn’t make it home. And it makes me sad. But then I start reading about keeping America safe and all that, and I thought I’d take a picture to show you guys. So I did, with my Blackberry, but then I realized it’s illegal to take pictures in an airport, oh what the hell. But more painfully my thoughts were, it’s just a God Damn shame that we even NEED a military and I am so sick of men killing each other, and woman in children in the Middle East, and Russia and the rest of the world.
Well, I’m sorry I’m rattling on and on and on, but somehow, I know you’d agree with me. And also, my damn flight it delayed indefinitely, ‘cause guess what? There are thunderstorms in New York. And Midway doesn’t have Chinese.