July 4th Exercise
Note exercise strategy and accompanying calorie counts: Trust me, it’s better than eating.
1) Walk many steps. Hail taxi. Go to 7th and 17th. Enter door of new Lohmann’s Gym. (50 Calories)
2) Go up long step escalator (40 Calories)
3) Try on lots of clothing. (20 Calories) Observe following:
a. Who the hell, over 10 years old, wears a SIZE “0”?? I mean, does that human being really exist? If so, hunt down and send to hospital. She is anorexic and needs immediate medical attention.
b. Who fits in ONE SIZE FITS ALL? All what? All string beans? All 6 year olds? NOTE TO …
The Kiss, Part II: Romance is Dead
INTERNET DATING…when you’re 14.
WANTS2BKIST: yo
SOBVULTURE: how are u
WANTS2BKIST: good u
SOBVULTURE: good really stressed
WANTS2BKIST: dido here
SOBVULTURE: cool. so, I wanna kno something. have u hooked up with someone yet? (NOTE HOOKED UP = KISSED)
WANTS2BKIST: nope
WANTS2BKIST: y u ask
SOBVULTURE: to be honest get on that quick
WANTS2BKIST: o thnx 4 ur support, why tho?
SOBVULTURE: u should just find a guy and do it
WANTS2BKIST: like some random dude…dude isnt it just easier 2 lie
SOBVULTURE: well if that pleases u
WANTS2BKIST: wait so y?
SOBVULTURE: I don’t know, dont u wanna feel that sence of nowing what it feels like?
WANTS2BKIST: helz yea!
SOBVULTURE: soo do it with a …