So, I found this list today on Parent Dish which was kind of funny:
1. I always paid attention in school.
2. There’s no such thing as a favorite child. All of you are my favorites.
3. Sorry, the playground is closed today.
4. Cuddles the Hamster went to live on a nice farm. Yes, the same one where your goldfish went.
5. I have Santa Claus’s cell phone number on speed dial. Do you want me to tell him how you’re acting?
6. Whoops, the KidzBop CD is in Dad’s car and he already …
You can not tell me you were surprised last night. The bitchy girl gets the guy. I mean, did we really have to sit through, what, like 8 weeks of this torture to know, that in the end, nice girls finish last? The rules? The RULES? Here are my rules to get your man:
10) Get a boob job. Pay for it with your ex-husband’s money. That you took from your joint savings account.
9) Do not, I repeat, do not get along with any women. Not ever. EVER. Did I say EVER?
8) If you …