May 29th

Cell phone ransom: taxi cab holdup

At 8:45 this morning I got the dreaded call from Bella which was, “mom, I took a cab even though you told me not to and it cost $15 and I left my cell phone in the cab…” And I’m like, shit, another 2 years with Verizon just to get her the free phone. So I do what any other self respecting human being does in this case, I call it, and call it and call it. When, at last an hour later, a foreign voice …

May 28th


So I see on YAHOO that COKE DAMAGES MUSCLES.  And I’m like, holy shit, I drink one diet coke a day.  Is my next visit to the emergency ward?  And THEN I see that this woman drinks, “seven liters of cola a day for 10 month”.  So I figured that, um, there was a bunch of things you shouldn’t drink 7 liters of, like WATER.  So, if you are stupid enough to drink coke like a whale, than, by all means, you should suffer the consequences.  Yigads.

May 20th

American Idol Wrap Up

So, just in case you were one of the two people that didn’t watch the AI finale, I can sum it up in, well, few words:

On aging: Take some fantastic hints from Gene Simmons: wear face paint and your age will always be unlisted.

Or take a cue from Rod Stewart: Get a good surgeon. I mean, he had too, didn’t he?

Speaking Rod, (hum to “Maggie, I wish I’d never…”) and fill in Kara. You …

May 18th

I could not eat these puppies

No matter how delicious they are.

May 18th

If I were to twitter… would have looked something like this:

10 minutes ago: twittered my day. Thank GOD that’s over. Do people really spend time on this? Coming soon to a blog near you. Follow me on Twitter.

6:00 hours ago:twittering was the best part of my day.
8:00 hours ago: I am not the only one bored. Everyone here is using their blackberry. New clue on if people listen to you. When blackberries come out, shut the f up.
8:25 hours ago: Keep getting stopped by tens of …

May 17th

Very, very clever

Who thinks this stuff up??? Must have lots of time on his hands. Well, better than sitting on them.

May 16th

To twit, to Friend, to blog, to blither…

Is a paragraph at any length the same? So, I’m sitting in the movies, watching the kinda boring previews and the women next to me are talking loudly, and I’m thinking, should I tweet this? Blog this? Or just turn around and tell them to shut the fuck up? Then, the new Eddie Murphy preview comes on, the guy next to me is laughing. At Eddie. And I’m like, “really? Really. You think this is funny?” Is this something I should post on my Facebook status if I could figure out …

Page 1 of 212»