March 17th

John Hinckley, redux

So, in June, I published this letter that, I got in my inbox, and sick mind that I have, found funny:
johnhinckley.jpg

The staff at the mental facility treating John Hinckley reports intercepting the following letter from Bill Clinton:

To: John Hinckley
From: Bill Clinton

Dear John,

Hillary and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country’s new spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is …

 
 
March 12th

Find the man

So, my sister, who is always sending me interesting bits of information, sent me this today:

FIND THE MAN

Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds,
the right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man
between 3 seconds and 1 minute, the right half of the brain is developed normally.
If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain
is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein …

 
 
March 12th

Boobs, wrinkles and botox

Sunday was 70 degrees. I hate the warm weather. I especially hate when the weather is warm in winter. This only reminds me how much I hate warm weather the rest of the year. Why? Because in the Big Dirty Apple, that is the time that every one under 30 strolls up and down the 3rd Avenue bar scene with their peach skin faces, cellulite free giraffe legs and short little skirts seeking hot, tight bodied young males.

warm-in-nyc.jpg

Which is what I used to do (stroll). But those tales are for another day. I …

 
 
March 12th

Thank you Mr. Bush. It’s spring and we love you for it.

So, along with the balmy NYC weather (omigod–it’s fifty degrees in March), comes my favorite time of year. Daylight savings. And thanks to you Mr. Bush, heaven holds a place for you to pray because now when I leave the office at 7PM IT’S STILL LIGHT. For those of you who don’t know, Mr. Bush moved DLS up two weeks to save energy. Who said he wasn’t green?

Cheers,

 
 
March 8th

Snuggie Season is over…

…at last. for those of you who live on the east coast, unless you were in bed sick all weekend, it wasn’t too hard to miss the spring weather. And spring? Well, that means allergies and cleaning. Both events I look forward to with, well, all the thrill of a bird in heat. And so, I decided to take that brand new pillow hogging up the closet, that I bought last summer at Macy’s for Bella’s camping excursion (which she never went on) tried to get my twenty bucks back because Macy’s takes everything …

 
 
March 3rd

Help. Save me. I am a Bachelorholic.

Please. Someone. Save me from tonight. I can’t stop it. I hate him. Hate Jason. But even more, I hate ABC. For playing me. I am sure, sure that this is NOT human drama, but television drama. In disguise of a reality TV Show. A show that portrays the REAL love triangle of Jason, Melissa and Molly. And I watched the finale. Then the rose ceremony. And then? Yes, I did. I tried to stop but I WATCHED JIMMY KIMMEL (who admitted he was Italian and I thought he was …

 
 
March 2nd

Snow? Not so quiet after friggin’ all

So I was all snuggled down in my comfy cosy comforter and, low and behold, I hear the rumble and the grumble of the snow plows.  All NIGHT LONG.  Stop damn snow.  STOP!!!

 
 
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