Coping
So Bella has OCD. Or at least, what I think is OCD. Well, let’s put it this way. Anytime she gets one tiny pimple or two or five (and it’s really NEVER MORE than five), it is cause for alarm, consternation, and multiple trips to Duane Reade for Clearasil, or calls to the Dermatologist, and, at the very least, at least 40 conversations about the mountainous puss spewing dots upon her face, all within a 12 hour day. Which has caused me to drink at least one if not two or five glasses of …
Garbage Can Eatery
I know I am not the only one who does this. Dump food in the garbage…so you don’t pig out and eat the whole goddamn chocolate cake. And then. Reconsider. All those starving children in Africa. I KNOW I am not the only one.
See??
The Hottest Guy
7PM SUNDAY NIGHT: Bella is watching a movie. On her iPod. 1″x1″ screen. (This took 1 hour to download, btw and cost me $4, but she hasn’t complained about her pimples for about 15 minutes, so it’s worth the money).
Bella: He is the hottest guy. EVER.
Me: I understand. I met my man.
Bella: You mean that short Italian guy we met in TJ Max?
Me: Yes.
3PM SUNDAY AFTERNOON: And it wasn’t just his accent. Shopping for a suitcase has never been like …
Babies, babies, babies
On a fine summer day in THE APPLE, a few daycare workers take their charges for a walk. And you’ll note, the little boy bothering the little girl. And she’s none too happy. Not too much changes between the sexes. For the next 60 years.
Death of a Cell Phone (aka–I HATE Verizon Wireless)
I hate Verizon. Yes. I do. I do indeed. In January 2007 I sadly buried my 7 year-old-StarTAC. Does anyone remember them? Anyone here OLD enough to remember them? And it was the time when cell phones were used, for GUESS WHAT??? MAKING PHONE CALLS. And they lasted. And lasted. And lasted.
But anyhow, back to Verizon. So, I’m finally forced to break down and buy a friggin’ MOTOKRZR (that the sales person told me was the …
The Attack of the Vacuum Monster
This, perhaps, is the only reason to ever pick up a vacuum. That and mile high dust bunnies.
Untitled from Lara Dean on Vimeo.
Water Taxi Beach
What the hell to do on this beautiful Sunday in the dog days of summer? I know…what an awesome idea… WATER TAXI BEACH . It looks great on the NY Waterways website, and hey, you get a fantastic water taxi ride to boot. So, for the low, low price of $10 a head round trip (yes, I dragged Bella with me), we could experience a water journey, a beach, THE WATER, VIEWS and more….much more. Like:
The …