Chloe: The Warlord
So, as you may know, Chloe thinks she’s the princess, the Godess, the owner of all human. And in doing so, she has many raids on said human’s home. Namely, mine. Namely, the bathroom, where the laundry hamper is and where all those fresh skeens of toilet paper live, in existence, simply for the hunting pleasure, of said Godess, ruler of dirty underwear and toilet paper.
The Queen Needs Her Cookies
And her photos. If the ruler of your house is anything like mine, she demands the best. If you like what you see, check out Lara’s Loot!
July 4th Exercise
Note exercise strategy and accompanying calorie counts: Trust me, it’s better than eating.
1) Walk many steps. Hail taxi. Go to 7th and 17th. Enter door of new Lohmann’s Gym. (50 Calories)
2) Go up long step escalator (40 Calories)
3) Try on lots of clothing. (20 Calories) Observe following:
a. Who the hell, over 10 years old, wears a SIZE “0”?? I mean, does that human being really exist? If so, hunt down and send to hospital. She is anorexic and needs immediate medical attention.
b. Who fits in ONE SIZE FITS ALL? All what? All string beans? All 6 year olds? NOTE TO …
The Kiss, Part II: Romance is Dead
INTERNET DATING…when you’re 14.
WANTS2BKIST: yo
SOBVULTURE: how are u
WANTS2BKIST: good u
SOBVULTURE: good really stressed
WANTS2BKIST: dido here
SOBVULTURE: cool. so, I wanna kno something. have u hooked up with someone yet? (NOTE HOOKED UP = KISSED)
WANTS2BKIST: nope
WANTS2BKIST: y u ask
SOBVULTURE: to be honest get on that quick
WANTS2BKIST: o thnx 4 ur support, why tho?
SOBVULTURE: u should just find a guy and do it
WANTS2BKIST: like some random dude…dude isnt it just easier 2 lie
SOBVULTURE: well if that pleases u
WANTS2BKIST: wait so y?
SOBVULTURE: I don’t know, dont u wanna feel that sence of nowing what it feels like?
WANTS2BKIST: helz yea!
SOBVULTURE: soo do it with a …
Therapy: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
Your relationship with your therapist is very special. Sometimes, too special and you begin to be afraid to make a move without her.
Untitled from Lara Dean on Vimeo.
Some examples: should I have a baby? marry my boyfriend? change jobs? move? move my furniture? order in? wear the blue dress? file my nails? curl my eyelashes? If you find that every move you make is tied to a call to the therapist, it may just be time…to break up.