The Itch: Part one hundred and seventeen
So, the itching hasn’t stopped. Last night, Lara with the PhD in “how to drive your daughter”, crazy took a peek and everything looked fine to me, but then what do I know, it’s not like I have any other qualification other than to me they all look the same, and unless there’s a dog or something hanging off of it, I wouldn’t know a rash from an insect bite, from some other disease (not that I’ve seen more than the average gal who sometimes takes a shower in the gym with other women.)
So Bella, …
I Got An Itch
A TRUE STORY ABOUT THE LIFE OF AN ITCH… Mom and teen talk
DAY 1:
Bella: I have an itch.
Me: OK.
Bella: Down by the watchacoo.
Me: Huh?
Bella: You KNOW.
Me: And?
Bella: I shaved.
Me: Why in GOD’s NAME did you shave?
Bella: I don’t like hair.
Me: Wonderful.
Bella: So, how long does it last? The itching?
Me: I don’t know! Why don’t you GOOGLE IT?????
Bella: What do I type?
Me: I don’t know. Maybe: “I shaved, I itch. How long does it last?”
Bella: YOU DO IT.
Me: You shaved. YOU DO IT.
DAY 2:
Bella: The itching is DRIVING ME CRAZY
Me: Don’t shave anymore. Why did you …
Puppy Sadism
So, when I’m a little depressed, I go into AKC Kennels and look at the puppies. Which is what I did on Sunday. And I saw this little guy. I had to hold him. He was shaking like a leaf. When I put him down in the “playpen”, he became a wind up toy. As soon as he heard the shop guys voice, he started to tremble again. It broke my heart to leave him :(. But I knew Chloe would eat him alive. ) And I think I’d go a little nuts (and a LOT broke at …
Some Call It Spring…Other’s Call It WAITING ON FRIGGIN’ LINE
There is this sliver of days, between winter and summer, when New Yorkers forget all their cares and act like they’re Angelinos. They have a bounce to their step and come out of the woodworks like roaches after dark. Some call this brief respite, between the frigid winter and hell hole of a summer, a taste of “Spring”.
This sign is actually at the Gristedes I shop in and what the hell that scary motha fucka mannequin is next to the sign or why people still shop here, is a mystery …
How I Get Through My Day…
…my week, my year… my life with a teenager.
And apparently, dogs have their days too.
I think they call them “Dog Days”
**Note to Animal Rights Groups Around the World: No dogs drank wine during the shooting of this blog entry.
Your Lousy Life
So many of you have been asking me when they’ll be able to comment, and respond to my posts. SOON… my developer tells me. Whatever THAT means. In the meantime, if you want to send me your own lousy life, with your own lousy pictures, you can. I succombed to an email account: laradeans@aol.com. So send them now, and see them Monday. Maybe. If they are lousy enough.
Check back later to see why his little life is lousy :(
Daughterly Advice: Carbs R Good 4U
Bella: Carbs are good for you.
Me: Oh yeah?
Bella: Yeah, the Glucose creates sugar which gives you energy. I learned it in science.
Me: OK. You know best.
