The Boob Police, Part I: There is a Reason Hillary Lost and I Know Why
I really should have been her campaign manager. So, I was simply minding my own friggin’ business last night at 230 5th– a NY roof top lounge when all of a sudden, these were shoved into my face. OK, not shoved. But near enough so they came pretty damn close up as I whipped out my Blackberry in order to ask you, internet, why in God’s name, do women dress like this? It’s like, I want to know, do guys have to see boobs to leave a good tip, …
It’s ALIVE
Hello out there! Thanks for all you folks reading about MY LOUSY LIFE and NOW a whole new site, with a whole NEW LOOK! With extra added features too:
The Rant: Will tell you all about, well, my lousy life.
The Daily: Kinda a photo of the day and why it means something to me.
The Weekly Poll: Yes, I do it. You do it. Check out who does it too.
Post Bitch: Your opportunity to POST YOUR RANT! If posted, your rant will be entered to win a $25 AMEX gift certificate …
The Cleaning Lady: Part II– But is it Really Clean?
So, my second new cleaning lady actually quit the job before she even started, she said, because she got a full time job. Ok, bravo. Glad we could help you.
So, I have continued to resort to my own special rub and scrub talents, which, while it’s not my favorite way to spend a Saturday after working 50 hour weeks, it’s not the worst either. Call me crazy, but it’s kinda therapeutic. (Alright, maybe I shouldn’t have dumped the shrink but it’s a hell of a lot cheaper. BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO)
So meanwhile, Bella gets asked to clean …
The Pool Picture Police
Saturday was not too friggin’ bad. Hot, 95, and awesome outside.
So, I go up to the roof pool where the view is, as so eloquently spoken by a stranger passing, “holy shit.” Yes, it is, it is indeed, which is why I have spent the last 15 years throwing money after this rented apartment, rather than moving out of the big dirty apple where I could afford something somewhat larger than a 500 square foot apartment neatly divided into three bedrooms and a den. And a stall shower. In …
Walmart? Schmalmart. It’s the thought that counts.
So, not everyone’s a rocket scientist. I sure as shit don’t claim to be. But, um, hell, it’s one fat hell of a going away cake!
So, here’s what we think the conversation was:
Walmart Employee: “Hello ‘dis be Walmarts, how can I help you?”
Customer: ” I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.”
Walmart Employee: “Whatchu want on the cake?”
Customer: “Best Wishes Suzanne” and underneath that “We will miss you”.
Thanks Natuba, for having this gift on your site.
The Panty Police
I am really, really sorry. But is there a REASON someone has to roll their skirt down so low their panties show? OK, now I KNOW I’m getting old.
I know this picture is a little blurry, but I haven’t quite figured out how to set my shutter speed to taking motion pictures. So sue me.