Boobs: An experiment in Science and Search Engines
Ok, so I had no traffic today, and I wanted to conduct a little science experiment to see, what, if any, effects this post had on my traffic. And, SORRY, no, these are NOT my boobs, you dirty little devils.
Fear of Flying
I am terrified to fly. Well terrified doesn’t exactly describe my white knuckled,wordless trapse across the country. I don’t take drugs, drink or otherwise occupy myself to make sure that the flight attendants don’t carry me off in a straight jacket. I just sit there and pretend that, well, I’m NOT flying. Top 10 reasons for fear of flying:
10) Falling out of the sky from 35,000 feet.
9) Sharing the air with 265 coughing, hacking people.
8) Crying babies for 6 hours.
7) Paying $10 for food that is unidentifiable. I mean, shouldn’t that be included with my $400 ticket??
6) Sharing a teeny, tiny cube of …
Barack, Hillary or John…I Will Vote for You If…
So after my extremely STRESSFUL week dealing with ITCHING, and the fact that I am going to LA today for vacation, (yes, I am going to LA and I like it. So shoot me) I really couldn’t think of much to write. I am drained. Nothing like politics to keep the old brain going. So, those running for office, heed the below: What you need to CHANGE to get MY vote:
Numero uno:
Numero dos:
And mucho importante, numero tres:
There ya have it. Forget about health care, …
The Itch: Part one hundred and seventeen
So, the itching hasn’t stopped. Last night, Lara with the PhD in “how to drive your daughter”, crazy took a peek and everything looked fine to me, but then what do I know, it’s not like I have any other qualification other than to me they all look the same, and unless there’s a dog or something hanging off of it, I wouldn’t know a rash from an insect bite, from some other disease (not that I’ve seen more than the average gal who sometimes takes a shower in the gym with other women.)
So Bella, …
I Got An Itch
A TRUE STORY ABOUT THE LIFE OF AN ITCH… Mom and teen talk
DAY 1:
Bella: I have an itch.
Me: OK.
Bella: Down by the watchacoo.
Me: Huh?
Bella: You KNOW.
Me: And?
Bella: I shaved.
Me: Why in GOD’s NAME did you shave?
Bella: I don’t like hair.
Me: Wonderful.
Bella: So, how long does it last? The itching?
Me: I don’t know! Why don’t you GOOGLE IT?????
Bella: What do I type?
Me: I don’t know. Maybe: “I shaved, I itch. How long does it last?”
Bella: YOU DO IT.
Me: You shaved. YOU DO IT.
DAY 2:
Bella: The itching is DRIVING ME CRAZY
Me: Don’t shave anymore. Why did you …
Puppy Sadism
So, when I’m a little depressed, I go into AKC Kennels and look at the puppies. Which is what I did on Sunday. And I saw this little guy. I had to hold him. He was shaking like a leaf. When I put him down in the “playpen”, he became a wind up toy. As soon as he heard the shop guys voice, he started to tremble again. It broke my heart to leave him :(. But I knew Chloe would eat him alive. ) And I think I’d go a little nuts (and a LOT broke at …
Some Call It Spring…Other’s Call It WAITING ON FRIGGIN’ LINE
There is this sliver of days, between winter and summer, when New Yorkers forget all their cares and act like they’re Angelinos. They have a bounce to their step and come out of the woodworks like roaches after dark. Some call this brief respite, between the frigid winter and hell hole of a summer, a taste of “Spring”.
This sign is actually at the Gristedes I shop in and what the hell that scary motha fucka mannequin is next to the sign or why people still shop here, is a mystery …