March 31st

What I Learned in School Today

At Dinner in a Mexicano Restaurante

Bella: So me and a few friends were sitting around talking today, and you wanna hear what the boys said?
Me: Sure.
Bella: Well, they don’t really want to get involved. That’s why they like making out so much. They just want to get in and out, do you know what I mean?
Me: Ah, yeah. I know what you mean.
Bella: So it’s just better to not have any emotions. That way you don’t get hurt.
Me: So why don’t they want to “get involved”?
Bella: Well Preston said it …

March 31st

Eeekkkkk! It’s gotten worse. It’s like a John McCain infinity mirror!

Help! My blog is being attacked by a man with pointed hair.


March 31st

ARRRGGGGHHHH Why do I have John McCain Ads all Over My Site???

Doesn’t Google serve ads that correlate with content? Maybe I missed something. Is McCain’s platform global warming? What did I do in my last life to deserve this? It must have been something awful. Then again, McCain looks pretty freakin’ scary in this photo (what was his pubicist thinking?), so maybe it’s just karma.


(PS: I’ve always wanted to write an article starting with the words ARRRGGGGHHH)

March 30th

Global Warming

Even in Manhattan folks, there are signs of global warming. And it’s not just the Polar Bears that are in danger. Today, as I was talking my weekly stroll through the city and freezing my butt off even though it’s almost friggin’ April, I wasn’t so sure the Gore prophecies where true. I mean after all, where is the Goddamn spring? But then:


When I asked the store manager if ALL the Princeton Ski Shops were going out of business I thought: Holy moly, I’ll be able to go from store to store and …

March 29th

Enough Said

No, those aren’t a horse’s hoofs. Chloe has finally met her match.


The look on each dogs’ face says it all. (Yes, the Dane’s head comes nearly to his owner’s shoulder.)


And I couldn’t resist! (No, Chloe wasn’t in any danger… just my bad photo shop!) Besides, that Dane was so tall, I’m not sure he even saw Chloe! And she? She thought he was a horse. Not to be messed with.


For more on Chloe, go here 

March 28th

Chow Down

Sometimes I just don’t feel like feeling lousy, and so I go out to eat, or shop or just pretend I’m a goddamn tourist except I don’t walk around with my eyes skyward looking at all the tall buildings and I’m still not very nice. Or at least, not as nice as someone from, let’s say Indiana. So just to get the party started, I’ve listed a few of my favorite restaurants in the Hood. My hood that is, which is, the great big dirty Apple.

Le Singe Vert – 7th Avenue at 19th Street–Who …

March 27th

The Cop & The Cabbie

It’s New York, and at that very moment I caught a glimpse of something so priceless, so delicious, so New York, that I halted my mad dash back to the office where I was about to chow down on a very delicious salad with salmon (freshly chopped and tossed) just to give you, my fans (all 51) , the PERFECT New York moment. There’s no audio…enjoy the improv.


Officer, like I was sayin’ there was this big motha fucka bee that flew into my windshield, and I just didn’t see the light. …

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