So You Think You Want to Diet?
Ok, so today I went to a Weight Watchers meeting to get the frick back on track. The no winechocolateorbread diet I was on only worked the week I was on it, then the week I was off it, I gained the two pounds I lost back, then the week I was on I lost the weight, then the weekend I was off, gained the pounds back. Doesn’t sound like it’s WORKING. Ok, so, back to the meeting where I got great advice. Weight Watchers is all about making positive changes in your life even if it’s only ONE …
Hot Jewish Women
I resent the fact that when you Google HOT WOMEN, not ONE of the 15 million results show Hot Jewish Women. What kind of prejudice is that? I mean, every other type of woman has their own hot site: Hot Russian Brides, Hot Brazilian Women, Hot Japanese Woman, Hot SPORTY Women (really???), Hot Gymnastic Women, Hot STAR TREK Woman (STAR TREK??), Hot Knocked Up Women, Hot Women Playing their drums, Hot Women Belly Dancing, Hot Women in a Hot Mess, Hot PREGNANT women, Hot Spartans, Hot Korean Women, Hot Tempered Women, Hot Women Dancing, Hot Black …
The Kiss, Part I: The Lip Virgin
The Mother Daughter Talk…Yes, With Bella and Me
So mommy, I know this girl who hooked up with this guy cause she hadn’t ever kissed any body before, so does that make her a slut?
No. So who did you kiss?
Nobody.
Who did you kiss? I can’t believe you had your first kiss and you’re not telling me.(Bella) Cause I didn’ t have my first kiss yet. What does she do if the guy wants to keep kissing her and she doesn’t want to kiss him any more.
Is she gay?
No. She’s not gay at all. She’s …
Chloe: The Warlord
So, as you may know, Chloe thinks she’s the princess, the Godess, the owner of all human. And in doing so, she has many raids on said human’s home. Namely, mine. Namely, the bathroom, where the laundry hamper is and where all those fresh skeens of toilet paper live, in existence, simply for the hunting pleasure, of said Godess, ruler of dirty underwear and toilet paper.
The Queen Needs Her Cookies
And her photos. If the ruler of your house is anything like mine, she demands the best. If you like what you see, check out Lara’s Loot!
July 4th Exercise
Note exercise strategy and accompanying calorie counts: Trust me, it’s better than eating.
1) Walk many steps. Hail taxi. Go to 7th and 17th. Enter door of new Lohmann’s Gym. (50 Calories)
2) Go up long step escalator (40 Calories)
3) Try on lots of clothing. (20 Calories) Observe following:
a. Who the hell, over 10 years old, wears a SIZE “0”?? I mean, does that human being really exist? If so, hunt down and send to hospital. She is anorexic and needs immediate medical attention.
b. Who fits in ONE SIZE FITS ALL? All what? All string beans? All 6 year olds? NOTE TO …
The Kiss, Part II: Romance is Dead
INTERNET DATING…when you’re 14.
WANTS2BKIST: yo
SOBVULTURE: how are u
WANTS2BKIST: good u
SOBVULTURE: good really stressed
WANTS2BKIST: dido here
SOBVULTURE: cool. so, I wanna kno something. have u hooked up with someone yet? (NOTE HOOKED UP = KISSED)
WANTS2BKIST: nope
WANTS2BKIST: y u ask
SOBVULTURE: to be honest get on that quick
WANTS2BKIST: o thnx 4 ur support, why tho?
SOBVULTURE: u should just find a guy and do it
WANTS2BKIST: like some random dude…dude isnt it just easier 2 lie
SOBVULTURE: well if that pleases u
WANTS2BKIST: wait so y?
SOBVULTURE: I don’t know, dont u wanna feel that sence of nowing what it feels like?
WANTS2BKIST: helz yea!
SOBVULTURE: soo do it with a …